House shmouse

I have the mind to curse out someone and so i have decided to pick the realtor who sold my until the house that he bought. I am sooo mad. This wonderful five bedroom house is located in the dry mountainous area of Colton in SoCal and it sucks. Because of the mountains there is no cell phone reception and I have to spend more on gas cuz I have to climb up the hills constantly all the time. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. And being that this is a new house the phone isn't hooked up and the internet doesn't work. So today the AT&T guy came and I almost kissed him, an hour later he tells me that he is done and that the phone is ready to use until we try it and find out the wiring is messed up because the contractor who built the freaking house was smoking pot.

LET MII STOP here

I hated shopping until

I was in Wal-mart today looking for some hair stuff and I ended up in the baby section. Baby clothes are sooo cute so here I am spending quality time just going thru' the clothes on the rack and then I realized that in order to buy all the ones i thought were super cute I would have to align myself with pregnant women. So yes, if you are pregnant please contact me so that I can help you shop for your kids clothes. I will not help you change diapers or clean up spittle but shopping for baby clothes I can do.

Friends

My sister got married abour 2 months ago and on the day of the traditional wedding in Nigeria they was a problem with the wedding bands, so Nick who is my sister's ex-boss got on a motorcycle and went into the village to get them expanded.
Why am I bringing this all up?
Because sometimes we don't know when we are going to need people. We don't know if the people we are going to run across are eventually going to become our friends. So we should I guess treat everyone like a potential Bill Gates financier.
Nick met my sister in 1999 and 8 years later he travelled to Nigeria and got an a rickety bike in a country were white men are routinely being kidnapped.
So yeah
I was just thinking out loud.

Moving

New houses are shams
Seriously there is sooo much work that you have to put into it after you buy the house that it makes the whole process annoying and frustrating.
I will spare you the whining for someone who has spent the last 3 weeks moving.
New brand new homes suck.

I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago trying to figure yout what state to settle in and it seems like it is going to be Arizona. So even tho' i am not close to moving yet I'm looking at Scottsdale real estate and considering my options.
Why Arizona because they don't have hurricanes, tornados, volcanoes, floods, earthquakes, snow blizzards or any other catastrophic phenomenon.

Still sick

Vixen is still sick
She had to go back to the hospital and has been there since Tuesday

So yeah
Pray

Kafo

Home but...

Many people who did not die right away came down with nausea, headache, diarrhea, malaise, and fever, which lasted several days. ~ John Hersey

Oh my gosh, I've been so sick. I knew it was about that time, but frankly I really detest getting sick. I'm not going to espouse about it more, just know that I'm home but frankly not that much better, I'm weak, delirious, in pain and nauseous. And NO, I'm not pregnant.

I want my mommy!

Vixen MIA

Hey people
This is Kafo
Vixen is out of circulation, she kinda sorta is in the hospital,
so yeah keep her in your prayers.

Out

In heaven

It all started when I was thirteen, we were getting on a bus to go to Youth Camp and I had this tummy ache that caused ..
No it all started when my father's sperm carried the Y chromosome to the beautiful egg that was chilling in my mom's uterus, and then eight months, twenty seven days and two hours...
No
sorry I have to go way back it all all started when Eve decided to eat the FREAKING FRUIT that isn't an apple.
I really do need to believe that before the fall of man Eve did not have to go thru that whole monthly cyle garbage. I really do need to believe that becuase there really needs to be PMS relief in Heaven. Seriously.

So yeah, i know we normally don't talk about this outside of lil female gatherings but i have to ask. Do you think women have menstrual cycles in heaven?

For dummies

I learnt something, or is it
I learned something???

I learnt/learned something last week, I know that you are thinking, so, who cares, this is life we are all constantly things every day.
Yes I know that we are, but last week I'm going thru' this Algebra 2 for Dummies book and most of the stuff was just review. I could almost remember going thru the material ten years ago but all of a sudden I turn the page and seem something that didn't ring any bells or conjure any memories.
Ellipticals, this whole topic of finding and graphing the equation for an ellipse, and hyperbolic function was new to me.
So yes, I am happy,

I have learned/learnt something.

Anticipation

My uncle just bought this new house and for the last couple of days I've been whining about how I dread the whole packing season that is about to start. it seems like everywhere I go people are constantly moving and I find myself someone obligated to the whole process. It is not like I am going to someone reap the fruits and enjoy this new life that they have indebted themselves to for the next 30 years.
Anywayz i go out yesterday to check the house and it is beautiful.I'm not big on houses to begin with EXCEPT MY DREAM HOME. So to feel a sense of anticipation about helping them move into their's is weird. I think it might have something to do with the in-built 5.1 surround speaker system. It is already there IN THE CEILING. Now all my uncle needs to do is purchase some home theater furniture so i can come to enjoy the Lord of the Rings Trilogy EXTENDED version.

Ha I can hardly wait.

Californians

Okay i think that Californians are a bit loco. Okay I guess that is a bit of a generalization but the whole idea of paying 300 bucks for a pair of sunglasses just because it has the word Guess on the handle doesn't make any sense. Or blasting 200 bucks on a pair of shoes just because they are Jimmy Choos or the one that still astonishes mii is the Louis Vuitton craze that seems to be sweeping across the nation and permeating every household. A 500 dollar D&G watch, 2000 dollar purse, 60 dollars for underwear, seriously, I miss the Midwest.

Ticket pictures

I kind of, sort of got a ticket. Now before you go on you must repeat this

Kafo is a good driver,
Kafo is a good driver,
Kafo is a good driver,

I am a good driver, seriously, but ever since coming to SoCal I have started to doubt my ability as a driver. Yesterday I had to pump gas at one of htose machines and couldn't figure out how to use it and then I realized that I was running late and that I was thirty minutes behind schedule so when I got to the next red light I didn't really stop before making the turn and then i saw the flash. In Indiana we don't have the flash, we don't have computers that take pictures and then tell you to pay money, we don't have the best radar detector so when you are speeding and going 25 over the speed limit nothing can really get in your way.

But in Cali
They do
So, I'm expecting a ticket soon
In the mail
sniffle sniffle

Lion King Nostalgia

I am a huge fan of Veggietales and before that I was a Disney enthusiasts. It did not use to matter back then what Disney movie it was I would have half the words memorized and then all of a sudden Disney started to slack out and produce this stuff that makes no sense and I am at a loss of words. I remember the days of the Lion King were we not only memorized the dialogue and lyrics to ALL the songs including Be Prepared by Scar we also have animal masks to make us look like the characters. A part of me misses being that kid who obtained so much pleasure from watching and memorizing those shows. Basically I miss being a kid.

Stripper WHAT

Okay so I'm talking to my boy J who is about 2 seconds away from getting married and for once in the last 5 years of our friendship I begin to question his sanity. Seriously. Men are dicks. Of course, not all of them are, espcially the ones we are currently dating or married to but honestly whatever happened to their brains. Long and short of it is that J thinks that his wife should understand he need to want to go to a strip club. It is not that he doesn't love his wife it is just that he also is curious about what other women have. I can't understand why he can't spend be one of the guyz that spends his free time watching the Colts have a perfect season on flat panel televisions.

Victoria Secret and Fruits

My friend needed to buy a gift for her boyfriend's mother and after a lot of brainstorming we realized that shopping for your potential mother-in-law is hard. DUH! I mean there are so many pitfalls and potential faux pas that an unsuspecting girlfriend can fall into. For instance, buying her perfume seems like a safe way to go but the you go to Victoria Secret and every product has salicious names like Pure Seduction and Passionate Kisses and Bath and Body looks like a grocery store list. Peach this and Orange that. Did I mention that the mother is African. So yeah, perfumes and body sprays won't work so after about 20 minutes we settled on a wristwatch. Of course we couldn't afford Audemars Piguet or Rolex but she found something that agrees with the African Spirit of matching from head to toe.

Dream Home: Part #?

I entered the room and immediately inhaled
the scent that has haunted me so long.
Everywhere I looked I was
confronted with his
essence.

My hands long to trace
each curve, each dip
and fall. I am lost
and don't even
realize it.

Libraries are the devil. Have you ever walked into a library and felt love wash over you like oceanspray on a hot summer night. One ladder rack standing idly by begs you to climb and you try and resist the urge but the next level is even more breathtaking than the first. First editions of Dickens, Poes, Plath, Tolstoy line the wall and all you want to do is become one with the room and yet remain yourself because a part of you wants to feel this way over and over again.

So yeah
I have a dream library in my dream home

Guilty Pleasures

I have decided that my sister's joblessness is crazy. So I am trying to think of a way to convince her to write software. I mean the kid is smart and did take some programming classes in college. Add that to the fact that she is a whiz when it comes to balancing the books and making black what you to be red and budjeting and bugging me about budjeting. So yeah I think a financial consolidation software that will be wildly used and accepted is a smart way to earn your first million. Of course it has already been done before by others but what will make her software unique is that it will present your debt in terms of what your guilty pleasures. For instance, the screen might display something like "You have lost the ability to buy 3 new pairs of Guess shoes because you paid your cell phone bill late. I suggest you pay more attention in the future."


What do you think?

Past cannot become Present

So it seems like we have another sport that have fallen prey to scandal. Who doesn't watch the Olympics? Esp. the track part of it. I remember watching the 2000 Summer Games and rooting for Marion Jones to win all the five gold medals and now today we find out that she was actually pumped up on steriods and has to return the medals. Hmmmm, it is sad but now I am wondering who get the medals? Do they find the person that go the Silver and give them the gold and upgrade the Bronze winner and the 4th place runner? I mean in a sport live cross country bike riding (I know that isn't the name of what Armstrong does), the Tour de France, if Armstrong admits in 2010 that he was using muscle enhancement stuff in 2005, who cares, or if it happens to Tiger Woods and his Ping Golf clubs who cares, that many years after the fact?

I understand the whole "It is the Principle" argument but it is not like the Eagles can take all the fun away from the Patriots 2006 SuperBowl party. It's already happen, the books may change and the medals may change hands but the fun, excitement and pleasure can neve be recaptured.

Sue or not to sue

I am a very good driver that has had the misfortune of being in two accidents over the course of the last year.
I repeat.
I AM A VERY GOOD DRIVER!!!.
Both of the times it was the fault of the other person, the first time it was actually a cop that hit my car and the second time I was rear ended so hard that the windows shattered but as I stated previously I am a very good driver. I should have thought about hiring one of those cutthroats Raleigh accident lawyers to help me sure the other guy for mad money and then I wouldn't have to spend my time on the computer trying to make an honest living.
Hmmmmm, the things we could do but don't and now regret

L'Amour

Love is being stupid together. ~Paul Valery

It's better to be stupid together than to be stupid by yourself. At least that way you have someone that you can laugh about the silliness together. I'm trying not to be one of those blogs that all I do is talk about Norio...but honest to goodness, sometimes I can't help it.

Kafo (my sister) called me and left a message today. Something along the lines of, "Now that Norio is back home you don't want to talk to anyone else." Sorry sis. He's been away for almost a week, and I almost expired from the sheer mundanity that became my existence. It was just work, home, gym, sleep, wake, work, gym, sleep and do the same thing all over again. I did pack in hella overtime while he was gone, but I think it was just an effort to keep myself busy so that I wouldn't miss him that much.

It didn't work, needless to say. Anyway, he's back now, so if you don't hear from me for a while, you'll know why.

24

I do not quite understand why the people who think they are people when in actuality they are just empty headed potatoes get to go to drug treatment centers while the rest of us spend time in jail. The latest airhead to enjoy this benefit is Jack Bauer from the cast of 24. Of course his real name is not Jack Bauer but Kiefer Sutherland. I am not sure what the logic is but will the end as we know it really end if he spends the night in the slammer? Or will the president really be clueless about what to do if Kiefer does not act that part? Maybe, it is the whole entertainment value, maybe they think that we as Americans can not survive without entertainment so if the show 24 were not to air we would go berserk.

Hmmmm
Maybe that is it.

Insoluble

Did you know that over half of the nutritional supplements out there are bogus. I am sorry to have to break it to you but that 10 bucks you just spent on a bottle of stuff supposed to boost your immune system by giving you the much needed Vitamin C and Vitamin E doesn't really do the job. Here's the story for the non medical buffs. One word. Insoluble. Most of the time people don't drink enough water to dissolve the pill so it just passes through your system and comes out in your poo instead of being assimilated into your blood stream. There is a list somewhere about how much water to drink to make it worth your will but I'll leave you to find that by yourself.

Ciao.

Good luck

Money, Medicine and Mii

I am trying to decide which one is worse. Realizing that you are in debt or having some punk tell you that you are in debt after the fact. It seems like some people namely Hospitals love to send their friends to remind you ever so gently that you owe them money. Normally I wouldn't bite the hand that feeds me but after having a chat from a friendly commercial collection agency I think I am rethinking the whole medical CEO position that recently opened up in La La Land.

Oceans 14

So a lot of thefts have been occuring in Hollywood lately. The elderly are not even seperated from this group, I mean Francis Ford Coppola must be about 79 years old and people are raiding his place and now Steven Speilberg has joined the group of ROBBED DIRECTORS. I mean gone are the days when actors and actresses are hounding by the paparazzi now it is Directors. Hmmmm, I not entirely sure how this development affects the realease of their respective films and frankly I don't care. I mean does the world really need another Indiana Jones? I am tired of sequels unless has the name Pitt, Damon, Clooney, Roberts, Jones and Jennifer Garner attached to it. Seriously, I think Oceans 14 should have a Jennifer and Matt love theme. I'm thinking of New York instead of Vegas. Jennifer could be a gold expert and Matt could comaderie the time to break into Fort Knox or something like that. Yes or maybe there could be a golden nugget Las Vegas theme. I think an appearance by Will Smith might also be fun. Noooo that is too much star power. Okay, here it is we should replace Garner with Kerry Washingston because honestly I think we already have two tall women in the movie. Catherine and Julie should both be pregnant and Kerry Washington yes she could be into Damon. Yeah, I don't know.

I'll get back to y'all after I finish the screenplay.

Ciao.

Dress to Impress

Mia Hamm she was an athlete but that was ages ago. You no doubt might remember the whole shirt ripping shot of her after the USA team won the Women's World Cup. The professional athlete world is constantly evolving. People are always breaking records and reaching new heights. Tiger Woods in the early days was a novelty now it seems like he is everywhere and when he wins it barely suprises anyone. We have female racecar drivers winning awards and even girls setting records for female golf. You don't care about and neither do so, let me cut to the chase.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter how many records are broken or barriers are demolished women will still be women and looking cute even tho' you are trying to win the game of the century is still a requirment to nab a Nike deal. Every woman falls prey from WNBA players, to the William sisters, to golf apparel ladies, to Danika whatever her name is. So enough with the bullshit about being an athlete and wanting to be recognized for your skill and not the shape of your booty.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

WOOHOO!!!

27!

Coup

How do you plan a succesful coup d' etat? Let us say that you have been a part of the present administration and it isn't living up to expectations. How does a person go about starting a bloodless revolution? Is succession planning worth your time given the fact that only 1 out of every 1oooooooooooooo coup is peaceful? I really don't know why this whole topic is floating in my head. Hmmmmmmmmm maybe it has something to do with the whole Burma turned Myanmar crisis.

I am not entirely sure but if you have any answers please let me know.