Thursday, July 28, 2005


You Know You're Addicted to Alias When...

I got this from, yeah, I'm hopelessly addicted to Alias.

At every fast food joint you go to, you order "the special, no pickles" regardless of the fact that you LIKE pickles.

You believe wearing a colorful wig and tight clothing can help you get away with anything.

You check the sides of old book pages for Russian characters.

Every time you see a black Mercedes, it reminds you of Sark.

Addicted?You notice every Ford Focus on the road.

You use the phrase "There are just so many problems with this..." at every possible opportunity.

You have suspicions that your spouse may actually be a double.

Your non- Alias obsessed friends (like you have any of those left! Hah!) refuse to talk to you about Italians, prophecies, pickles, wigs, parent/daughter relationships, spies or anything else that might lead to a discussion about Alias.

You actually BUY a blue Ford Focus. (With gold rims, of course)

You wonder if Sark actually could be Irina's son.

You develop opinions and theories about this and other unanswered facets of the show, and spend a large amount of time formulating arguments for both sides of the debate...

The main question you ask yourself shopping is "Would Sydney wear something like this?"

You have seen every episode. Ever. More than 5 times a piece. More Addictions...

You went to see Daredevil just for Jennifer Garner.

You flip out when you see Michael Vartan in One Hour Photo married to someone else.

The mention of weddings, rings, or two years just gets you incredibly ticked off.

After getting a bad grade on a paper you tell your friend about your professor saying "legally he's right, ethically he's an ass."

If the topic of TV shows comes up, you automatically ask the person "Do you watch Alias?" and if they say they've never heard of it... you immediately end the conversation.

You hear the songs played in the show.. and you instinctively listen for the lines of the characters.. and know precisely when their lines occurred in the song.

Your history teacher mentions something about the KGB.. and you suddenly think "Irina?"

You have a codename that people actually call you by.

You think having no first name is a perfectly acceptable thing.

Old Asian men in wheelchairs creep you out.

You will never view epoxy in the same way again.

You find yourself trying to find good, compelling reasons to sway your significant other that your next child/pet should be named "Irina" or "Sydney."

You feel aggravated and insulted when you watch the episode of "Frasier" where Victor Garber plays Dr. Crane's British butler. ("Years of agent training and experience, wasted...")

You feel a strange urge to bite Mike Tyson's ear off every time you think of "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Whenever you hear a truly interesting song, you immediately think of how that song would fit into a scene from Alias.

You find yourself criticizing the REAL CIA based solely on your knowledge of Alias.

You think Jerry Springer's guests have boring, uncomplicated family/friend relationships and easy, simple-to-fix personal problems.

You become incredibly irritated when people say, "That girl Sydney, doesn't she really report to someone else?" and can tell them exactly how many episodes behind the times they are.

You begin fantasizing about planting listening devices on your significant other's work clothes, just to see if you can find anything exciting/spy-worthy.

You know what J/I, S/V, S/W, Sarkney, Slark, slash, and shipper are, and have opinions on all of them.

Every time you hear the Nokia ringtone, you get excited even though there's no way it could be Vaughn.

You look for air vents you could crawl into incase of an emergency.

On Monday morning instead of saying "hello" to your friend you just say "Did you SEE VAUGHN'S BOXERS???"

The only people you have on your AIM buddy list are people you've met through Alias .

When you begin to doze off in history class and only snap back to attention when the teacher uses the words "Alliance" or "Covenant."

You record every episode, then go out and buy the DVDs as well.

You dream about Irina Derevko at least once a week.

Sweiss does not sound like a candy bar to you.

You assume that anyone who wears dark eyeliner is evil.

You meet a nice person and immediately become suspicious of their motives.

You constantly try to figure out ways to get Jack and Irina back together.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Alias.

Monday, July 25, 2005


Fortunately, my parents always encouraged me to be grateful that I was healthy, and stand up and be proud and carry myself with dignity. ~ Susan Anton.

Just dropped my parents off at the airport a few minutes ago and I'm missing them horribly already. You see, they live in Nigeria and come here about once a year to check up on their brood. They didn't make it in last year....This is the first time in 2 years that I actually got to spend ALOT of 1:1 time with them.

A whole whopping week, looking ahead, it seemed like an eternity but now it's gone by in a second. Seems like they just flew in a couple of days ago. I didn't miss them alot when they weren't here for 2 years....I got by, I was fine. Now I'm reminded once again of what I'm going to miss.

First of all, my mom's cooking. Now I can throw down in the kitchen with the best of them, but when she gets in the kitchen she lays down the law. I have never been able to make such savory dishes, delicious courses that she just cooks up in minutes with no cookbook or recipe. If I could cook like my mom, I'd be set for life!

Second, as interfering and as nosy as they can be, I will miss the advice. It's sound advice, as much as I don't want to take it...after all, they have been through most life experiences and have learned the hard way alot of the lessons they just pass on to me. Now if only I could apply the lessons...but NOooooo! I must go my own hardheaded way.

Third, the stories. I come from a family of storytellers and I managed to retain the art. My dad must have told 743 different tales, anecdotes, jokes, stories while he was here and in each one I learned alot more of my background and heritage. I was surprised that he has so many stories that I haven't even heard yet! We had built-in entertainment.

Ok, enough listing. Just savoring the memories till next year.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Stupidity Awards

Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.~ Albert Camus

Ok, this is so ludicrous that I just had to share....

Canada, U.S. vie for crown at World Stupidity Awards in Montreal

Apparently they have these awards every single year.

The World Stupidity Awards will be given out Friday in Montreal at the "Just for Laughs" comedy festival. Here are the nominees:

Stupidest Man of the Year: U.S. Senator John Kerry; Former Ukrainian president Leonid Kuchma; columnist Ann Coulter; NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association director Bob Goodenow (shared); U.S. President George W. Bush ...hmmmm, I wonder who will take home the crown for this one?

Dumbest Moment of the Year: Ashlee Simpson on SNL; Basketball fight featuring Ron Artest; Prince Harry showing up to party in Nazi suit; Tom Cruise on Oprah; Russell Crowe throwing a phone at somebody's head. I'm still trying to decide between Ashlee's hoedown dance when caught lipsynching (sp), Princess Diana's heir trying to pass himself off as a spawn of Adolf Hitler, Tom Cruise jumping on chairs 'cos he forgot to take his ADHD medication or Russell Crowe letting his temper rule him once again. I think we should give them all awards for being super stupid and make sure that they don't populate the earth with any of their idiotic genes ever again.

Stupidest Statement of the Year: "Can you handle my truth?" - Britney Spears; No Britney, we cannot handle the truth that you stole another woman's man while she was PREGNANT for him, dubbed your trailer trash dancer K-Fed and then proposed to him and bought your own friggin' wedding ring!

Want more stupid?"Go (expletive) yourself." - U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney' And this is our VP?? Go wash your mouth out with soap old fart.

"Nooooooooooooo" - Darth Vader, in Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith; No comment.

"They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we." - U.S. President George W. Bush; Gee, with a Prez like this, who needs terrorists?

"That's hot." - Paris Hilton. No Ms. Hilton, the fact that you... a blonde bimbo with no talent and no skills whatsoever managed to become a world renown celebrity and get paid to party....that's hot.

Stupidest Movie of the Year: Elektra; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Alexander; Alien vs Predator; The Pacifier : Of all the them, the biggest disappointment with me was Alexander. C' had Angelina Jolie AND Colin Farrell, 2 of the hottest actors in the biz...and yet neither of them could save this Greek tragedy. They should have just tossed the whole script and had Jolie and Farrell make out for the whole movie. At least that would have been worth watching.

Stupidest Woman of the Year: Paris Hilton; Ashlee Simpson; Brangelina; The Runaway Bride; Paula Abdul ....They are all fuckin retarded. Every single one of them. Except for Brangelina...because it's Angelina and I know my male readers will agree that she is to be set on a pedestal for all time.

Stupidest Trend of the Year: Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds; War; Crystal Meth; Seeing the Virgin Mary in toast, hamburgers etc...; Climate Change ....Hmmm, gotta go with religious fundamentalism on this one. Although seeing Mary in toast is just probably cos you've been snorting too much crystal meth. Did they check all the reports to see if the people were clean?

Stupidest TV Show of the Year: Britney Spears, Chaotic; Surreal Life; The Simple Life; The Beauty and the Geek; Dr. Phil : My pick would have to be Chaotic. Noone really wanted to see Miss Man-stealer in action as she fell in love with Mr. Trailer Trash and set herself up with his potent sperm to experience 'the closest thing to God'.

Dumbest Government of the Year: Iran; United States of America; Canada; North Korea; The United Nations ....Hmmmm, another hard choice. Ok, Canada didn't flub as much as the others so they get immunity. NK needs to get mad respect for putting it all out there..."I have WMDs you rank bastards, whatcha gonna do about it?" Everyone else needs to get their heads checked. US for voting Whats-his-face back into power, UN for being moronic lazy A-holes who drag their feet 10000 years before doing anything about the state of the World, and Iran for aiding and abetting suicide terrorists.

Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet: Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea; U.S. President George W. Bush; The Vatican; The Government of Iran; Paris Hilton ...LOL, wow can't believe lil Ms. Hilton has enough clout to mess with Kim Jong Il. For reckless endangerment's a tie between Bush and Iran. Heads or tails boys?

Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance: Fox News; CBS News; CNN; Al-Jazeera; Newsweek ....Every last fuckin' one of them. Most especially CNN. And then you wonder why I don't watch the news anymore...

Stupidest Award Show of The Year: The Oscars; The Grammys; The Daytime Emmy Awards; The Golden Globes; The World Stupidity Awards...this one is up for grabs, I don't really care anymore...all of the award shows are retarded.

Friday, July 22, 2005


Money talks, but all it ever says is good-bye ~ American Proverb

I went to Target today with my friend Claire, and because of my extreme discipline (yeah right, Hahaha), I was actually able to exit the store without giving into the urge to buy anything at all. Good for me! Anyway, we get outside and this guy comes up to us and starts asking for money. Apparently, his car got towed and he needs money to get back home and he showed me his Driver's License and everything. Now, I'm usually not the kind to fall for all panhandling stories, but for some reason I felt the urge to spread a little cash around. I've been stranded before, and I'd like to think that if I was desparate enough to approach virtual strangers for some dough, someone would have heart and help. I foisted off to him like 10 bucks, which was exactly the amount that he needed to catch a cab home. So hopefully he didn't blow it on drugs or something. And remember to pay it forward dude.

Moving right parents are here this week. Now I love my parents to death but someone please tell me what is it with parents that they automatically have the power to revert an independent modern woman of the 21st century into a kid again? With a few choice words, they strip whatever level I've managed to place myself and make me think that my life choices are simply ludicrous. Makes me want to scream. I'm soooo glad that I'm not living at home anymore, I couldn't even imagine being once again subject to rules and CURFEW and getting permission to breathe! Anyway, they are leaving on Monday so I will be free as a bird once again!

Ok, I ended up blasting almost 100 bucks on eBay this weekend. I seriously am addicted, I need to get into a 12 step program or something. Someone needs to sponsor me to the Ebayers Anonymous program, because this is getting ridiculous. I bought the Roots DVD, Cleopatra and Quo Vadis. All of these are movies I watched when I was a kid, and I probably won't watch them, but I want to own them just to bring back the memories. Yeesh! Plus, a brand new Tenor Recorder, to continue my musical education. I really need some help. It's a good thing I was able to finagle some cash from the parents this week. I got money from both Mommy AND Daddy, how cool is that?

Obviously it went to my head and I got a little crazy, spending like a shopaholic, and giving bucko bucks to that dude at Tarjay! Oh well, money is meant to be spent. Better than sitting in the bank...hehehe.

Mood: Trying to stay sane and not revert to any childhood habits
Listening to: Nothing...ran out of Christian Jamz to play, anything else will just get me another lecture.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.~ Coco Chanel

7 things in my life that are utterly decadent, sinfully luxurious, delightfully tantilizing and gorgeously indulgent that I refuse to apologize for.

1. My sheets: 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton baby! I got them from Ebay after watching the movie Uptown Girls. Until then, I didn't even know that such wonderfully soft sheets existed. In my bed, I sleep soooo well every night. If you don't have it, you simply must indulge. Trust me, you won't regret it.

2. Box of See's Chocolates: Right on my nightstand, a great place to have chocolates...cravings can hit at any moment you know!

3. Ipod Mini: 1000 songs at your fingertips. Lightweight, fashionable, slim and snazzy.

4. My TBR pile: A pile of books to be read. Usually have about 5 books and magazines in rotation. Cosmo, Glamour, Simply Unforgettable, Sins of the Night, It's in His Kiss, and The Message REmix.

5. Walker's Shortbread Cookies: The only shortbread cookies that deserve the name shortbread. Which reminds me, I need to get another box....

6. Comfy pants: Gotta have these. Perfect for lounging around on the days when you don't have to get up to get dressed for anything.

7. Cell phone: The ultimate splurge. Motorola V80

Anything positively decadent in your life?

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Sell Out

Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate. ~ Edward Albert

There are two things which cannot be attacked in front: ignorance and narrow-mindedness. They can only be shaken by the simple development of the contrary qualities. They will not bear discussion. ~ Lord Acton

It's almost 2AM and I cannot sleep. A single snapshot of my day keeps playing over and over in my mind, chasing away the lull of slumber with villianous energy. Perhaps if I get this out there, it will be off my chest and then I will be able to enjoy my beautiful night.

My beau and I had just come out of a restaurant around 6 pm today, and as usual, we were both in our little world; laughing, talking, holding hands and totally immersed in each others' company.

But, I'm a Bmore chick, and even in all instances, you gotta keep your eyes open. From the corner of my eye, about 20 paces behind us where 2 black boys. (Using men would be too nice) If not for the fact of the totally ignorant comment they made, I would have gone on my merry way without giving them a second thought.

"Sellout. Stick with your own kind!" they shouted at me.

WTF?? I immediately flipped them the bird and kept on walking, deciding that to deign them with an answer would be an exercise in futility. Plus, if I did call Jason's attention to them, he was liable to open up a serious can of WHUP ASS just for the disrespect. He's a competitive mixed martial arts fighter, and they wouldn't stand a chance. My baby is not a violent man by nature, but to protect my tender sensibilities, I know that he would do whatever it took.

It was more shocking to me than anything else. I lived on the East Coast. Especially in a city like Baltimore, I would expect such a racist, narrowminded comment. But this is Cali ~ the Bay Area is the most multicultural place that I have ever been in, a melting pot of all nations and races. I've seen people look at us whenever we went out, but it was more looks of courtesy and smiles. We are sooooo cute together! Hey, I may be Black, and my man is White, but we are in LOVE! Everyone who looks at us for a second can tell that.

So why am I still pissed? I guess because my guards were down. I had come to enjoy the peaceful, harmonious area that I moved to, where it didn't matter who was what. It was my first racial slur....(yeah, I've had it good). Guess the harsh jolt of reality shone light on the fact that this world is seriously more messed up than I thought.

People do not make conscious decisions who they fall in love with. Love is totally blind to nationality, race, creed or religion. The world has gone global and you need to realize that and get with the program. Jason treats me waaaaaay better than any other man that I have ever dated. I wasted almost a decade of my life on Black men and all it earned me was pain and heartbreak. So stop pissing in my Cool-Aid and go get a life.

I don't know you, mind your fucking business. You're just jealous cos you have to hang with your boys because you have no girl. No woman in her right mind would put up with your stupidity and ignorance.

I love Jason. And he loves me. Plain and simple. If you don't like that, shove it where the sun don't shine.

I love, love, love my sexy, handsome, thoughtful, passionate, intelligent, gentle, beautiful, kind, strong, ambitious, funny, muscular, spiritual, deep, romantic, driven, stimulating, adoring, organized, independant, supportive, inspiring, communicative, rational, family oriented, sociable, adventurous, modest, loving White man and he is ALL MINE!

So yeah, Fuck you!

(Ok, I feel better now. Off to bed! Thanks for listening)

Friday, July 08, 2005

Baby Talk

"Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass." ~Joseph Addison

I cannot claim to have a pet...but if I were to get one, I know that there is no way on God's green earth that I would be resorting to baby talk to my animal.

Pet lovers/owners that I have seen, both here and back home tend to do this with stunning consistency, and I've yet to understand why. Animals don't speak 'Human Speak'...they bark, meow, moo, or whatever language their species uses. You dumbing down your language isn't going to make them understand you any fact it makes the communication worse. In my mind, it has the same effect of someone who doesn't speak English, being yelled at or shouted to in English. They still won't freakin understand you!

Besides, what is the whole usefulness of babytalk? Do babies really understand your mushy noises and coos? Or are you just connecting with your inner child? Please somebody explain this to me, cos I know when I was a baby, anyone babytalking to me, I probably thought was seriously retarded.

Ok, enough venting on that.