Saturday, July 23, 2005

Stupidity Awards

Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.~ Albert Camus

Ok, this is so ludicrous that I just had to share....

Canada, U.S. vie for crown at World Stupidity Awards in Montreal

Apparently they have these awards every single year.

The World Stupidity Awards will be given out Friday in Montreal at the "Just for Laughs" comedy festival. Here are the nominees:

Stupidest Man of the Year: U.S. Senator John Kerry; Former Ukrainian president Leonid Kuchma; columnist Ann Coulter; NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association director Bob Goodenow (shared); U.S. President George W. Bush ...hmmmm, I wonder who will take home the crown for this one?

Dumbest Moment of the Year: Ashlee Simpson on SNL; Basketball fight featuring Ron Artest; Prince Harry showing up to party in Nazi suit; Tom Cruise on Oprah; Russell Crowe throwing a phone at somebody's head. I'm still trying to decide between Ashlee's hoedown dance when caught lipsynching (sp), Princess Diana's heir trying to pass himself off as a spawn of Adolf Hitler, Tom Cruise jumping on chairs 'cos he forgot to take his ADHD medication or Russell Crowe letting his temper rule him once again. I think we should give them all awards for being super stupid and make sure that they don't populate the earth with any of their idiotic genes ever again.

Stupidest Statement of the Year: "Can you handle my truth?" - Britney Spears; No Britney, we cannot handle the truth that you stole another woman's man while she was PREGNANT for him, dubbed your trailer trash dancer K-Fed and then proposed to him and bought your own friggin' wedding ring!

Want more stupid?"Go (expletive) yourself." - U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney' And this is our VP?? Go wash your mouth out with soap old fart.

"Nooooooooooooo" - Darth Vader, in Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith; No comment.

"They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we." - U.S. President George W. Bush; Gee, with a Prez like this, who needs terrorists?

"That's hot." - Paris Hilton. No Ms. Hilton, the fact that you... a blonde bimbo with no talent and no skills whatsoever managed to become a world renown celebrity and get paid to party....that's hot.

Stupidest Movie of the Year: Elektra; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Alexander; Alien vs Predator; The Pacifier : Of all the them, the biggest disappointment with me was Alexander. C'mon...it had Angelina Jolie AND Colin Farrell, 2 of the hottest actors in the biz...and yet neither of them could save this Greek tragedy. They should have just tossed the whole script and had Jolie and Farrell make out for the whole movie. At least that would have been worth watching.

Stupidest Woman of the Year: Paris Hilton; Ashlee Simpson; Brangelina; The Runaway Bride; Paula Abdul ....They are all fuckin retarded. Every single one of them. Except for Brangelina...because it's Angelina and I know my male readers will agree that she is to be set on a pedestal for all time.

Stupidest Trend of the Year: Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds; War; Crystal Meth; Seeing the Virgin Mary in toast, hamburgers etc...; Climate Change ....Hmmm, gotta go with religious fundamentalism on this one. Although seeing Mary in toast is just probably cos you've been snorting too much crystal meth. Did they check all the reports to see if the people were clean?

Stupidest TV Show of the Year: Britney Spears, Chaotic; Surreal Life; The Simple Life; The Beauty and the Geek; Dr. Phil : My pick would have to be Chaotic. Noone really wanted to see Miss Man-stealer in action as she fell in love with Mr. Trailer Trash and set herself up with his potent sperm to experience 'the closest thing to God'.

Dumbest Government of the Year: Iran; United States of America; Canada; North Korea; The United Nations ....Hmmmm, another hard choice. Ok, Canada didn't flub as much as the others so they get immunity. NK needs to get mad respect for putting it all out there..."I have WMDs you rank bastards, whatcha gonna do about it?" Everyone else needs to get their heads checked. US for voting Whats-his-face back into power, UN for being moronic lazy A-holes who drag their feet 10000 years before doing anything about the state of the World, and Iran for aiding and abetting suicide terrorists.

Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet: Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea; U.S. President George W. Bush; The Vatican; The Government of Iran; Paris Hilton ...LOL, wow can't believe lil Ms. Hilton has enough clout to mess with Kim Jong Il. For reckless endangerment though...it's a tie between Bush and Iran. Heads or tails boys?

Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance: Fox News; CBS News; CNN; Al-Jazeera; Newsweek ....Every last fuckin' one of them. Most especially CNN. And then you wonder why I don't watch the news anymore...

Stupidest Award Show of The Year: The Oscars; The Grammys; The Daytime Emmy Awards; The Golden Globes; The World Stupidity Awards...this one is up for grabs, I don't really care anymore...all of the award shows are retarded.

1 comment:

NML said...

Hilarious! I love a good rant and this was way up there! Britney has really been letting herself down. She has no shame and stolen that gold digger - it's guaranteed to end in tears.