Sunday, July 10, 2005

Sell Out

Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate. ~ Edward Albert

There are two things which cannot be attacked in front: ignorance and narrow-mindedness. They can only be shaken by the simple development of the contrary qualities. They will not bear discussion. ~ Lord Acton

It's almost 2AM and I cannot sleep. A single snapshot of my day keeps playing over and over in my mind, chasing away the lull of slumber with villianous energy. Perhaps if I get this out there, it will be off my chest and then I will be able to enjoy my beautiful night.

My beau and I had just come out of a restaurant around 6 pm today, and as usual, we were both in our little world; laughing, talking, holding hands and totally immersed in each others' company.

But, I'm a Bmore chick, and even in all instances, you gotta keep your eyes open. From the corner of my eye, about 20 paces behind us where 2 black boys. (Using men would be too nice) If not for the fact of the totally ignorant comment they made, I would have gone on my merry way without giving them a second thought.

"Sellout. Stick with your own kind!" they shouted at me.

WTF?? I immediately flipped them the bird and kept on walking, deciding that to deign them with an answer would be an exercise in futility. Plus, if I did call Jason's attention to them, he was liable to open up a serious can of WHUP ASS just for the disrespect. He's a competitive mixed martial arts fighter, and they wouldn't stand a chance. My baby is not a violent man by nature, but to protect my tender sensibilities, I know that he would do whatever it took.

It was more shocking to me than anything else. I lived on the East Coast. Especially in a city like Baltimore, I would expect such a racist, narrowminded comment. But this is Cali ~ the Bay Area is the most multicultural place that I have ever been in, a melting pot of all nations and races. I've seen people look at us whenever we went out, but it was more looks of courtesy and smiles. We are sooooo cute together! Hey, I may be Black, and my man is White, but we are in LOVE! Everyone who looks at us for a second can tell that.

So why am I still pissed? I guess because my guards were down. I had come to enjoy the peaceful, harmonious area that I moved to, where it didn't matter who was what. It was my first racial slur....(yeah, I've had it good). Guess the harsh jolt of reality shone light on the fact that this world is seriously more messed up than I thought.

People do not make conscious decisions who they fall in love with. Love is totally blind to nationality, race, creed or religion. The world has gone global and you need to realize that and get with the program. Jason treats me waaaaaay better than any other man that I have ever dated. I wasted almost a decade of my life on Black men and all it earned me was pain and heartbreak. So stop pissing in my Cool-Aid and go get a life.

I don't know you, mind your fucking business. You're just jealous cos you have to hang with your boys because you have no girl. No woman in her right mind would put up with your stupidity and ignorance.

I love Jason. And he loves me. Plain and simple. If you don't like that, shove it where the sun don't shine.

I love, love, love my sexy, handsome, thoughtful, passionate, intelligent, gentle, beautiful, kind, strong, ambitious, funny, muscular, spiritual, deep, romantic, driven, stimulating, adoring, organized, independant, supportive, inspiring, communicative, rational, family oriented, sociable, adventurous, modest, loving White man and he is ALL MINE!

So yeah, Fuck you!

(Ok, I feel better now. Off to bed! Thanks for listening)


PoeticVixn said...

You go girl! Don't let anyone tell you who you should be with!

Love ya!

Christine said...

You hit the nail on the head. They see a beautiful black girl, know that they can never ever get someone with class and beauty and have to play the race card to make themselves feel better. If they spent more time on their own character and manners they wouldn't be standing with their fellow losers, they would be with a nice girl no matter what race or background.
Pissing in cool aid LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

it's kool-aid, girl. no cali-style "cool-aid". it's all good. don't let them get to you but the harsh reality is that this won't be the last one either. as long as you find a way to deal with it and not let it bother you, then it's all gravy!

Joycii said...

People like that have small minds and you shouldnt let them bother at all. After all you already know who your true friends are and that is all that matters

Lingerie Lady said...

People like that are not worth the spit on the street. You keep your head up and enjoy your right to love. Congratulations on loving yourself best! :)

Kay said...

Hey Chica, it's sad to see that people still decide on being ignorant in this day and age. I'm glad to see you've found love. I wish you both all the best.

always write said...

Take it from an artist: Contrast is striking; gorgeous; delightful. Next time someone stares at you two, just tell them not to hate you because you're beautiful.

Congratulations on your happiness.

Vixen said...

Thanks are the bomb!

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

You're definitely right... you make a gorgeous couple :)

Rejoice in who you are and what you have.. those who judge do so from their own insecurities.


Julie D.

NML said...

Gosh that is really shitty what happened and you were right not to go nuts at those guys. I had that said to me before in London (57 different nationalities and all that!) and I was sooo embarassed. It's nobody's business who you choose to be with. Unfortunately, some people just don't get it either because they are so narrow minded or because they know you wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire! Forget them! Do what you like. x

LuckySpinster said...

you are a beautiful couple. those lame-asses were just jealous. you did the right thing to ignore their behavior. i'm always amazed at the hurtful things people will say.

Anonymous said...

You did sellout. Plus that cracker is not sexy, he looks like Dr. Evil or a leukemia patient. Girl, you didn't sell out, you dishonored your family and a strong line of nobility to be with a low life white boy who didn't respect you and cheated on you. If you were so rational minded you wouldn't be sleeping with tricks. Come back to your queenly origins.