B&B

The real reason bed-and-breakfasts make me nervous is breakfast. As if it's not queasy enough to stay in a stranger's home and sleep in a bed bedecked with 19 pillows. ~ Sarah Vowell

I've never, ever been to a bed and breakfast. Lorelai Gilmore looks like she runs a fantastic one. Of course, she is a fictional character, and so is her bed and breakfast, but wouldn't it be cool if fictitious places actually existed? Stars Hollow would be an awesome place to visit, especially with all the characters, lol.

A New York bed and breakfast is like a whole new breed. It's like a hotel with less people. Add to that, they are definitely more expensive than Lorelai's. I know everything is more expensive in NY...but dayum!!

Road Rage

On my way home from work today, this truck with a ladder rack cut me off and almost ran me out the side of the road. Maaaan, was I pissed! There are alot of generalizations I'm about to make here, so if you are one of these, don't get mad, just drive better dangnabit!

What I wish I could tell you if you drive a:

1. Minivan: Why is it that when you buy a minivan you turn over your 'how to drive' scruples and license? It's like you automatically start driving like an old lady the moment you downgrade to this family size van. Stop driving in the fast lane at 50! The slow lane is for bohos like you. Stop punishing everyone else because you are going to soccer practice instead of happy hour. That is not my fault!
2. SUVs driven by men: Asshats! I know you are overcompensating for your small wiener, but driving like you own the road doesn't make your cock grow any bigger!!!
3. SUVs driven by women: Get off the damn cell phone. Your ass can't drive properly anyway, then you add a huge car and your cell and think you can drive better? Gimme a break.
   
4. Hybrids: Your car looks like a cockroach.
5. Trucks: Stay in your own damn lane!

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm going to bed.

Shrinking

I saw a picture of Star Jones Reynolds recently and all I could say was, "Dayum!" Heffa is hella skinny now, almost like a Barbie doll. Her head is still big and her cheeks are all sunken in like she's been starving from famine the last year. I know she lost her job and is married to that gay guy but still---that is no excuse to wind up on the extreme opposite end of the totem pole where you were before.

Honestly, I liked Star better when she was fat. Or even when she was curvy. Now she just looks hella scary. She better lay off those Ephedra pills, unstaple her stomach and start eating some real food tonight.

Vampire Blues

For some reason, ever since I left nursing school, I've had a fascination with looking at peoples' arms and staring at their protruding veins. It doesn't matter where they are, in line, at church, my sweetie while I'm lying in his arms. I just dig veins. It's not just me either, I'm sure there are tons of nurses like that. Not like I'm a vampire or anything, but I have to keep my fingers in check to prevent myself from reaching out just to tap a juicy vein to make it protrude more.

I wonder if dentists address plaque the same way? Do they like stare into strangers' mouths dying to slip some nitrous oxide down their nose? Do they automatically figure out how to whiten, change and brighten your smile in the midst of you saying hello?

These are the sundry thoughts going through my Dilaudid coated brain this evening. Life can be icky at times.

But at least I'm happy.

Be Prepared!!!

It is well to be prepared for life as it is, but it is better to be prepared to make life better than it is. ~ Sargent Shriver

I know that the Boy Scout motto is be prepared but ever since the turn of the millennium things have been getting out of wack here on earth. Mother Nature is probably hella pissed at everything mankind has done to destroy this beautiful world and is taking it out on us big time. It seems like in the last 4 years, more natural disasters have torn across this globe than any other century previously. The tsunami, Katrina and recent earthquakes are just a few testaments of Nature's fury. This is why it totally maddens me when I find out that people don't recycle. I know that you might think that recycling your household plastics doesn't matter in the big scheme of things, but keep this in mind---if we had been recycling from the very beginning, perhaps none of this would have happened.

If your ass isn't recycling, shame on you! Call your waste disposal center today to find out more about taking care of this planet. It's the only one we have. If we don't take care of it noone else will. If you don't---you might as well ready your disaster kits cause signs of the times are proving that Armageddon is rapidly approaching.

*We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.*

Clocks

You may delay, but time will not. ~Benjamin Franklin

If anyone wants to get me a housewarming gift (yes, I know I moved in November and it's Febuary), please keep in mind that I desperately need a clock. I know you are probably surprised, who asks for a clock? Don't you have one in your house already?

Actually I do. But I want a nice big grandfather clock. One that chimes and dings on the hour a loud noise that reverberates throughout the entire apartment. That way a certain someone will be sure to hear it when he's taking forever and a day to take a shower thereby making another certain someone late and irate. I'm not mentioning names here to protect the identity of the guilty party---but stop making me late dammit!

*if you are wondering why I'm ranting so much I only have three letters for you. PMS.*

Rehab

Apparently, the newest fad in Hollywood nowadays is drug rehab. It's like the new country club, new spa resort and new vacation all rolled into one. I've been watching the hit show on FX called Dirt and it's through this that I actually was able to visualise how many kilos of drugs the "Rich & Famous" actually wade through. Enough to fell a horse---strike that, a ranch full of horses over and over again.

It's just plumb loco.

Hola

I know it's crazy...a posting frenzy one minute and then total silence the next. Let's just say I'm getting lots of posts to add to this week's blog. I'm doing real life research. When I do have a moment to myself to breathe, think and write, then I will definitely be back in the swing of the blogosphere. At least over here.

What the hell is up with Britney Spears?

Okay...later peeps.

Appetites

Appetite, craving for food, is a constant and powerful stimulator of the gastric glands. ~Ivan Pavlov

I remember when I was still a young, impressionable fresh nurse, one of my elderly patients got put on medical marijuana. This was about 5 years before medical marijuana even became a big deal in the media and it was a very unorthodox treatment. Apparently, she had a loss of appetite and was diagnosed with 'failure to thrive'. She was in the hospital for about 8 days and twice a day, she would get a hit of marijuana. It made her really laid back and chill, of course, and did perk up her appetite. She would eat for hours after that. For those MJ lovers out there---No, we didn't dole it out to her in the truest, natural form, it was in a pill form!! It worked like a charm and she started gaining weight almost instantly. I always think from time to time what happened after she went home---did she ever get natural MJ? Was she hooked to it?

Don't tell anyone I said this, but marijuana is one of the best diet pills out there.

Tug of War

Speak to your new boss as a group, put the problems on the table and offer suggestions. If it's done in a positive non-accusatory way, you stand a chance of changing the situation. ~Bob Weinstein

I didn't read any blogs yesterday because after dealing with the crazy day I had all I wanted and needed was a glass of wine and lots of cuddle time with the Boyfriend. Ever since I ran into my boss's car, things have been kinda off at work lately and yesterday was no different. I'm not even going to get into it, because I'm trying to forget it, but let's just say that now I realize that she's just my boss; even though I would wish us to be something more. The lines are clear in the sand and I'm not even going to cross over it anymore. It just doesn't work out. *sigh* I need a Fioricet.

Baby Blues

In another crazy twist to the Anna Nicole saga, it turns out that she was underfeeding her baby so that the baby wouldn't be too fat and would look sexy in pictures. Who the hell does that?!!! What the flip is wrong with her!!???

That is the dumbest reason I've ever heard of to starve your own baby. People in poor countries are struggling and scrounging for food for their offspring, and your priveledged ass is denying it? I mean, I know you are taking a whole bunch of diet pills to look all sexy and TrimSpa-ish, but your child is just a baby...not even a year old and is dependent on you for every little thing!!!

I don't want to speak ill of the dead...but DAYUM!@

Active Falls

Well, real estate is always good, as far as I'm concerned. ~ Donald Trump

One of my more tedious tasks at work is looking at different real estate websites to help my boss develop her own company website. I wouldn't say that I was stealing or plagiarizing other people's websites but pretty much I'm gleaning more information about what a well organized and informational real estate website would be like. I was browsing some pages today and came across one for Blue Ridge Real Estate. The only big difference in this site from others is that they go indepth about how active the area is. With waterfalls, parks and rivers, it sounds like something right out of Yellowstone Park. I guess only active people move up there...

Snack Time

*The male readers might want to skip this one*

Goodness gracious, Aunt Flo came in with a vengenance. I'm seriously cranky, seriously crampy and seriously pissy. Grrrrr! The sad part is that there is nothing to vent my ire on except the man of the house. He's actually been pretty cool with it. My dad grew up in a house with 5 women. Can you imagine where he was for 3 weeks out of every month? Yep---he absconded.

My mom somehow managed to keep all her cravings under control and she doubled up on fruits and veggies. She's a perfect example of a health nut.

My youngest sister gets a huge craving for Cheesecake. I once saw her eat a whole cheesecake by herself in one day---and I'm not talking about the 6-inch diameter kind!

My other sister gets on the salty snack tip like me. Of course, I drink lots of water, but I'm also adding to the probs just by beefing up on the sodium. Feel free to send me as many sympathy gifts as you want. Like shortbread cookies, Pringles and Wheat Thins. Thank you.

I'm going to crawl into my warm, happy place now and watch reruns of Sex & the City.

Writing on...

I know getting all up in ESSENCE via an interview doesn't make me a real life published author yet---even if some of my words were used. Until the byline has my own name as written by me, I'm not putting down my quiver in peace. My good friend Joyci thinks that I'm in line to be the next JK Rowling. Even though I have faith in my abilities, it's shocking to think that I could write a book that is not only a NYT Bestseller but that also creates a pop culture wave and franchise. That is such a lofty goal. I read somewhere that it's those who dream big that actually make waves. So dreaming big I am. If the worst comes to the worst and it doesn't pan out, I could always set up my own painting franchise.

Religion

I like to consider myself reasonably knowledgeable on world religions, but once in a while, I find out something new that surprises me that I didn't even know before. Apparently there is a Catholic Bible, which is totally different from a regular Bible because of some additional books that weren't included in the regular Bible. I guess King James felt that the story of the Maccabees wasn't really pertinent to his 66 ordained books.

It's stuff like this that makes me think that religion is just a collection of what people make up to feel connected to themselves and to a higher power. I'm not saying that I'm atheist or agnostic or anything like that, but in this day and age with so many religions, how do you determine which one is right?

Especially when everyone feels that they are right, and feels that they have the right to be judgemental and superior because they have the truth. Or worse, they believe in something that turns them out to be suicidal terrorists or drinking blood for a living.

I believe every religion has some element of truth in it. There is an essence in the fervency of all religion and spirituality in every belief. But how do you sort out what's truth and what's deception?

Where do you draw the line between man's fabrication/interpretation of the truth and the real truth from God?

Welcome to the Blogosphere

In my quest to get everyone I know into the blogosphere, I've finally nagged my other sister to start a blog. It's amazing what a little blatant coercion can yield. Hopefully she won't spill my secrets...lol, as if I had any!

It's been up for a couple of weeks now, and with every single post I'm amazed. I didn't even know she had such depths to her. It's a mixture of thoughts, poetry, rants and other musings that goes on through the mind of my kid sister, aka the Family Genius. Enjoy.

http://realitythrukemieyes.blogspot.com

Her other blog (such a copycat!) deals with politics, a field that I rarely step into on any of mine so it's a fresh angle. Anyway, here you go.

http://dilemma2008.blogspot.com

I did state how fabulous you guys were and that you would flood her blog with comments and hits so please, pretty please with shortbread on top, don't make me out into a liar. Thanks!

PS: When your family learns more about you reading your blog than talking to you---does this mean your fam is internet savvy or strange? Just wondering...

Baby Daddy Drama

I was not going to be one of the bloggers who jumped on the Anna Nicole soap opera band wagon but I simply couldn't resist.

She's dead---and her baby has 4 suspected baby daddy's.

1. The Birkhead guy who claims they had a love affair
2. The possible murderer lawyer/best friend Howard Stern who stands to inherit a nice chunk of change
3. Her dead husband the billionaire guy who froze his sperm for Anna...ewww!
4. Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband who says they had a decade affair

Someone needs to get Maury up in this shizz to clear it up. Paternity testing needs to be done asap.

Dog Days

It's on days like today that I just want to throw in the towel, crawl back into bed and go to sleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. ~ Vixen M.

I'm not even going to go into everything that happened...let's just say it's 1215AM and I'm glad that it's Friday already. I have two days to look forward to of nothing but peace and R&R. I have to take my braids out though---but I will be doing that in front of all my TiVoed shows for this week.

Unfortch, the only person that I can vent my frustrations to and about is the Boyfriend---he thinks I'm PMS-ing being that I've been so testy all day. Mental note: must make it up to him.

I'm going to bed. Hopefully I'll dream of my Orlando pool home with no stress, no responsibilities, no cold weather and no demands on my time, just me and a stack of books by the poolside.

Energized

Goals provide the energy source that powers our lives. One of the best ways we can get the most from the energy we have is to focus it. That is what goals can do for us; concentrate our energy. ~ Denis Waitley

Well after my energy boost yesterday, I've been pretty much attacking everything on my To Do List with vengenance. It's been a crazy non-stop go, go, go for the last three days. I just want to take a break, relax, vegetate in front of some TV and catch up on Heroes/Prison Break/House & Grey's Anatomy. Thank God for DVR.

In addition, one of my fav authors released a book yesterday which I'm simply dying to sink my teeth into. It's a Dream Hunter book this time and I'm really looking forward to this weekend. It looks like I have everything that I need for a lovely weekend of R&R.

I can't wait!

I'm Published!!!

For some reason all week my Stat Counter has been steadily increasing. It wasn't until I checked my email yesterday that I realized why. I got interviewed last October for an article written by the ultra fabulous Nina Malkin for ESSENCE magazine on current dating trends. The article came out in February's issue of ESSENCE and I'm quoted all through.

WOOHOO! Break out the bubbly...

In fact, Nina was gracious enough to include a link to the blog in the very first page, and I guess that's where all the hits have been coming from. For everyone who hasn't seen it...go get your copy of ESSENCE right now! It's going to become a collector's item...(after I write my New York Times bestseller) so you might want to hold on to it;)

The article starts on page 179 (pay special attention to numbers 2, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 21, 22 & 28!), and it's a great read for singles in the dating game and couples looking for new ideas to spice up their relationships.

Guess I'm officially in this writing thing now...I started doing a jig right at the supermarket counter...and have pretty much been on cloud nine ever since.

So a hearty welcome to all the peeps who read ESSENCE and stopped in to check out the Bad Girls Guide as well as this blog. And great big hugs to everyone who's been reading my little corner of the blogosphere whether since it's inception or just a minute ago. Thank you all.

Okay, now it's time to celebrate!!

TECHNORATI TAGS: essence magazine/essence/nina malkin/dating ideas/dating challenge/relationships/love/sex tips/sex/men/women/vixen's articles/bad girls guide/the bad girls guide blog/sex advice/relationship advice

Addresses

I was browsing online the other day when I came across some return address labels. I used to have these stylish, really nice labels that matched my checks when I lived in Baltimore. Moving to Cali, I always assumed I would get a new set but for some reason I haven't gotten around to it yet. The one with the waves and the ocean---those are really calling me. Perhaps sometime in the next year I might take the plunge on that.

Yes, yes, I know---it's the height of laziness to pay to get return address labels printed when you can just write it yourself. But, I'm paying hella bills every month. It's hard enough writing the checks and putting the stamps on it without having to worry about writing your address. Oh--and I mostly do online banking, but there are just some bills that require a special kick.

Crash...!

I dented my boss's car today. Her 2005 Lexus SUV.*gulp*

I feel totally awful about it. I was distracted as I was pulling out of the driveway and forgot that her other car was parked right to the right side/slightly behind it. They scraped against each other pretty badly, I wanted to crawl into bed and start the day over again. I do believe that that is my first accident ever; with a parked car. Ugh...I feel totally embarrassed just typing this.

So now I have to spend the whole weekend that I was looking forward to researching body shops to get the best rate since I have to pay the whole thing out of pocket. This is soooo not the time to have this happen, I'm kicking myself mentally and have been all day.

Surprisingly she took it better than I thought. She didn't scream or yell or anything...it's almost eerie. I felt so remorseful and sad, I almost left work early today because I couldn't focus. She was actually cool...even though she didn't relent on the fact I would have to get it fixed asap. Damn.

It's times like this that I wish I was more loaded. Does anyone know of a good/cheap body shop in the Bay Area? And while you are looking, how about one for PLC repair as well?

Screws

You all know I'm still in the organization stage of getting my house together. I hate the clutter of papers/bills etc. so I decided last week to get a filing cabinet. Not just any filing cabinet--oh no! I had to order me a beautiful honeywood 4 drawer filing cabinet from Powell furniture. Anything else wouldn't have been my dream filing cabient. It was supposed to arrive yesterday (my day off) but didn't get here until today. I almost thought I wouldn't be seeing it until next week but fortunately my room mate was home and signed for it.

I just spent the last 4 hours building it--it's officially the most complicated thing I've ever built. Even harder than the IKEA bookshelves I got last month! With my power tools, I'm unbeatable when it comes to building any pre-packaged furniture. I can do it all by myself, just me and my tools! Even if the manual is in Spanish, I can tear into the box and have it done in less than an hour.

This one really stumped me though. It didn't help that I was watching the last four episodes of Beauty and the Geek while I was building it. I think that siphoned off some of my brain power. Maybe that's why I used the wrong screws for the backend and had to do it all over again.

Well, it's done now and looking absolutely beautiful!

Lagos the Mega City

Virginia wrote a post a few days ago in which she shared this interesting nugget of truth.

By 2010, London will fall off the Top 30 Biggest Cities in the World list. Soon after that will be New York, Osaka and Paris. They will be considered smaller cities. Cities that will replace them on the list include Lahore, Lagos, Dhaka and Hyderabad. Ever heard of them? Me neither.(Then again, I am an American, and am globally unaware!) Why are the familiar cities falling off the list, and so soon? Because Asia's (and especially China's) population is staggeringly out of control. Here's the kicker: If current trends continue, by 2050, the top 10 largest cities in the world will all be in China. EIGHT of them haven't even been built yet.

LAGOS y'all! Did you see Lagos on that list? Well act like you know it's the most populated city in Nigeria and that's where my parents currently live and have lived for over a decade.

Do you know how many Nigerians live in Lagos? Consider this, there are approximately 131,859,731 million Nigerians in the country. And probably about another 30 million in the diaspora. All of them...every single one of them have a relative that lives in Lagos, have lived in Lagos themselves or will live in Lagos give +/- 5 years. That's how huge Lagos is. It's so big that not only the city Lagos is huge---the state Lagos is also full to capacity.

So it's going to be a MEGA CITY...if it's not already, lol.