Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Road Rage

On my way home from work today, this truck with a ladder rack cut me off and almost ran me out the side of the road. Maaaan, was I pissed! There are alot of generalizations I'm about to make here, so if you are one of these, don't get mad, just drive better dangnabit!

What I wish I could tell you if you drive a:
  1. Minivan: Why is it that when you buy a minivan you turn over your 'how to drive' scruples and license? It's like you automatically start driving like an old lady the moment you downgrade to this family size van. Stop driving in the fast lane at 50! The slow lane is for bohos like you. Stop punishing everyone else because you are going to soccer practice instead of happy hour. That is not my fault!
  2. SUVs driven by men: Asshats! I know you are overcompensating for your small wiener, but driving like you own the road doesn't make your cock grow any bigger!!!
  3. SUVs driven by women: Get off the damn cell phone. Your ass can't drive properly anyway, then you add a huge car and your cell and think you can drive better? Gimme a break.
  4. Hybrids: Your car looks like a cockroach.
  5. Trucks: Stay in your own damn lane!
Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm going to bed.

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