Ball Game!!!

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal. ~ George Will

My friend Sara finally was able to drag me to see a baseball game today. I've never really been into sports, and hate crowds even worse, so every time she offered, I reneged. I even came up with outrageous stipulations of why I couldn't go---it was too cold, it was rainy, I didn't have any money; I was too short....anything to get out of it.

However last week when she asked me, I was finally out of excuses. It was a day game, the sun was out and was going to be lovely 80-degree weather. She brooked all of my excuses with a firm rejoinder that I had promised to go to a game before the season was out. It was a game between the Boston Red Sox & Oakland A's (home team) and she had awesome seats. Add to that, it was a Wednesday which means hotdogs were each a buck baby! Oh yeah, I was so in.

I was hella excited all week and we talked about it every single day (I think she wanted to make sure I didn't back out again...lol) The talks amped me up and really got into the spirit of things.

We ended up meeting at the stadium and just seeing all the peeps decked out in their team colors of gold, green & white started getting me into the mood. I felt like I was at a Super Eagles event---the crowd was that hype. There were cowbells, people in crazy costumes and lots of cameraderie and good cheer.

OH MY GOODNESS, I HAD SO MUCH FREAKIN' FUN! It was great! It was wonderful. I kept waving the sign she had made for me in the air like I was a die-hard A's fan, and she was so patient and explained all the important rules and stuff so that I could understand what was going on. She was actually the best person I could have gone with, she's a bonafide baseball genius.

In addition, the A's won. Yeah baby! The score was like 7-2, we totally crushed the Red Sox. By the way, those of you looking at the pic, a sweep means it was the third game in a row against the Sox and if the A's win (which they did because of my sign!) that means we 'swept' them away. Hahaha, look at me, I sound like such a diehard fan already.

Anyway....good times.

Precipice

The only way round is through. ~ Robert Frost

I feel like this is the lull before the storm. I feel like I'm on the edge of a precipice and I'm in those few seconds right before I fall. The few seconds of peace, of happiness, of contentment.

I feel like gears are shifting in motion for so much change. So much change in my life. And you guys know how I feel about change. Although needed, although welcome, it's freakin' scary.

So right now in this moment, in this lull before the storm, before the winds of change sweep all up and through my life---I write. Listening to Maxwell's "This Woman's Work", I write as I fantasize and arrange how I want things to be, how I want things to end up. As I hope and pray that dreams do pan out to reality.

~Vivere è ma sognare (to live is but to dream)

Contentment

Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and a happy purchase. ~John Balguy

If your life was exactly the way you planned it to be, would you be any happier than you are in this exact moment? If you had everything that you ever wanted, and had the power to take away anything that you didn't want about your life, your family, your health and your history, would you change a thing?

If you knew five years ago that you would be where you are right now would you have done anything differently?

Are you really content? Deeply satisfied? Are you really happy?

Or is it all just an illusion, a myriad created by your mind to maintain a sense of contentment in a world gone mad?

Don't worry---you don't have to answer, these are all rhetorical. Just something to think about.

Another Meme

Things you may not know about me

I received this by way of Andrea. Feel free to respond!

Four Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Secretary (loved it!)
2. Salesclerk for Bath & Body Works (hated it)
3. Registered nurse on an ICU unit (loved it)
4. Housesitter

Four movies I have watched over and over:
1. Love Actually
2. Independence Day
3. Lethal Weapon 2
4. A Few Good Men

Four places I have lived:
1. Lagos, Nigeria
2. Boring Springs, MI
3. Huntsville, AL
4. Baltimore, MD

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:
1. Prison Break
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. America's Next Top Model
4. Project Runway

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
1. Los Angeles
2. New York
3. San Francisco (before I moved out here)
4. Philadelphia

Four Of My Favorite Foods
1. Any Naija food
2. Shortbread cookies
3. Rice
4. Salad

Four Places I Would Rather Be Now
1. At home with the Boyfriend
2. Sydney, Australia
3. Visiting with mia familia
4. Madrid, Spain


Four Best Qualities About Me
1. Peace-maker
2. Intelligent
3. Silly
4. Witty

Four People I know will respond
1. Poetic Justice
2. The Mistress
3. Nicole(When she gets around to it!)
4. You!!

Why The F???

I'm doing better. Much much better. However, I don't have anything to talk about. So, taking a page from one of my ultra fab bloggettes, here is my very first, WTF Friday.

1. Why the fuck are they doing a racist Survivor? Anything to get good ratings huh? Haven't we dealt with enough of this segregational bullshit all through the centuries to have to keep putting up with it on TV? I shouldn't take it that seriously....after all, it's only reality tv right? Scripted drama....grrrrrr!
2. Why the fuck did Alias get cancelled? I miss it already....waaaaaaa, waaaaaaa!
3. What the fuck happened to Blockbuster and their "No More Late Fees" campaign? I go there yesterday and find that I get to keep the videos for only 7 days, after that they CHARGE ME FOR THE WHOLE DVD! But if i bring it back in 30 days then I only get charged a $1.25 restocking fee. Anything to get money out of folks. In addition, they are trying to be like Netflix with the at home rentals. Fuckin' copycats, be original!
4. What's up with imitation shortbread cookies. Only one company has the right shortbread cookie formula. Walker's baby. Everyone else needs to close up shop 'cos they suck.
   
5. Why the fuck do people always try to speed up when they know you are trying to make an exit? Don't sit in the fuckin' exit lane if you are going to be blocking everyone you damn moron.

As you can see, I'm in a pissy, pissy mood today.

But I feel better now.

Dilaudid

I'm sick...again. I have been for a couple of days now.

The best thing about being sick is that I can indulge in all these legal 'happy' pills to take the pain away. However, I have an insane reaction to Dilaudid, it makes me itch like I jumped into a patch of poison ivy. So I take Benadryl to counteract that---that's when things start to get really, really interesting.

The worst thing is that I'm drugged up and unable to function, besides lie listlessly in bed listening to the same song like 87 times, falling in and out of drugged stupor. Being that my room has no TV I can't even drown out the impressions of my overly active imagination and keep having wierd dreams like getting lost in the deGaulle airport and swimming in a David Blaine type pool (I don't know how to swim!) Everything is in color and absolutely makes no sense!

Oh, and lets not forget that when I actually do have an emotion, it's an extreme one like crying or spilling every single thought that I've ever had in my head. It's like my filters and shields are down and this is really when you get to hear what I truly, honestly think of your ugly seersucker jacket, your stinky pet and how crazy you drive. With Dilaudid, there are only 2 extremes, really quiet or really chatty. Forget eating...food tastes like sawdust and water tastes like....coffee. The only thing worth drinking is lots and lots of juice.

Although...when I am drugged up, and feel no pain and have no inhibitions...my nymphomania hypes up to it's strongest level. At least someone is happy:) Guess everything has it's perks!

PS: It looks like I'm turning the corner--I'm actually well enough to blog today! Although my subject matter leaves alot to be desired. Oh well.

No Excuse!

Allow me to jump on the YouTube bandwagon. Check out this lil old lady. She's a firecracker!



Excuse me, I have to go drink some milk now.

Mushy Musings

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. ~ Emily Bronte

*This is strictly a post where I rave about my gorgeous and fabulous boyfriend. It might be too mushy, smushy for you. You have been warned!*

Why is it that things that normally bug me about guys don't do the same with the Boyfriend? It's like I see his flaws, and yet I think he's so adorable. He sees all my sides, the full spectrum of my Libra personalities, and he thinks it's cute. I know love is blind---but jeez, this is like taking it to the next level.

I can be moody, irritated, bitchy, whiny and angry whenever the mood hits me. I don't have to hide anything....he actually wants to know that stuff. He handles it with such grace too, he doesn't intrude on my little temper tantrum/dram queen-ism and acknowledges my feelings and where it's coming from. He actually listens....really pays attention, is deeply intuitive and understands. He can go off on his tangents as well, like his natural competitiveness in every single arena, venting about the murderous plots he has for his evil, evil boss and I'm right there with him, every step of the way.

We ogle each other. We both are so vain....neither of us can pass a reflective surface without staring at our gorgeous reflections...lol! "We are such a cute couple!" is our proud stance. The compliments flow both ways as we adore each other...what we say, how we look, what we do, how we feel. If I was on the outside looking in, I would be soooo nauseous by our overall admiration of each other.

Add to that our level of attraction---it's insane! I finally met a guy that has about the same amount of nymphomania that I do. I don't have to tone down my appetite for fear that I might be viewed as a horn-dog or slutty, but can really unleash the full depths of my Vixen powers, fantasies & capabilities. He doesn't shy away when I plant a deep kiss on him in public, or drag him off to have my way with him in semi-private venues. He actually holds my hand when we're walking on the street...of his own volition. He's so gorgeous, from the crown of his dark mop of curls to the sole of his beautiful feet-- (he has really nice feet for a guy, they look like he's been getting pedicures all his life!) I was giving him a massage the other day after he got in from a long, hectic work day and actually enjoyed it!

He's up for anything I'm up for, and really does have a thirst for adventure. He loves to travel, is highly intelligent, speaks multiple languages and has this amazing ability that he can connect with everyone he meets, from the lowliest bum on the street to the highest member in Parliament. Everywhere is home to him, he's comfortable in his own skin, and so self-assured and self confident. He loves spicy food! I can make everything as hot as I want to and he'll eat it up and ask for more. Oh yeah baby:)

And when we both disagree, we have arguments that send sparks flying! We are both strongwilled and opinionated, and sometimes (not often) our views collide. But even then, it ends up being a discussion that opens both our eyes to the other side of the fence. Having an argument with him is actually---enlightening and fun!

Gosh he totally knows how to dress! That's one big pet peeve of mine, a guy that can't put a decent wardrobe together irks me to no end. When we're going out on our weekly date, we both "dress up". And when he dresses up, he doesn't just throw on a pair of pants and button down shirt....oh no! He comes correct actually really "dressing up" to a T, like he's going for a black tie shindig. The waiter asked me last week, "Is this a special occasion?" "Anytime we are together is a special occasion," was his response with a beaming smile. Whoa!

He could not be any more perfect for me than if I had actually written out everything I knew I wanted (and a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't know) and had him special ordered just for me. I'm truly blessed.

With every passing day, I actually love him more. More than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Language

Use what language you will, you can never say anything but what you are. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you noticed that when you hang out with someone often enough you start picking up their slangs, mannerisms and idiosyncrasies? It's like what animals do, imitating each other. I guess it's the best form of flattery. For those of you not fluent in the slangs I've been using lately, allow me to elucidate with the definitions from the Urban Dictionary:

ish ~~ 1. Sort of. 2. Kind of. 3. A little bit. 4. Not quite. 5. Alright. 6. Okay. 7. Decent. 8. Iffy. 9. Somewhat. 10. Not entirely. 11. Yes, except not.

shizz ~~ a. replaces shit in all contexts
b. the coolest
can be used either positively or negatively

foolywang ~~ foolishness

hella ~ Originated from the streets of San Francisco in the Hunters Point neighborhood. It is commonly used in place of "really" or "very" when describing something.

I know, it doesn't make that much sense---but when has the English language ever made sense?

Catching Up

I'm thinking of changing my template to something more in theme with my blog. For those of you that read any of my other blogs, you know that I usually stick to a Blogger template until I find one that totally fits my theme. I'm searching for something peaceful and yet energetic. For something that can incorporate muse, coffee and a diary. If anyone has any suggestions of cool free blog templates that you have come across...let me know.

My fav edible treat of the moment is Dried Mangoes. Claire got me hooked on these from Trader Joes. They so remind me of the mango trees we used to have at the back of our house in Naija. With dried mango, you get the same fruity tang all year round, regardless of the season. What's not to love? Oh...and dried, it's just the yellow fruity part, so you don't have to fight with the tough outer skin.

It's really been busy over here...still trying to find a place, as well as I'm battling a minor sickle cell crises. It seems to get really bad in the early mornings and late evenings, but in the afternoon it's manageable (or maybe by then I'm so doped up on narcs that I can't feel it). Anyway, hopefully it will totally dissipate before the weekend....because I have some BIG plans.

Hope everything is chill in your neck of the woods.

Musical Pain

...I can't cry for myself so I will let this song take all of the things inside I can't let anyone else see and offer it up, as if the sound were some kind of god, and my pain is some kind of sacrifice. ~Robert Smith

The Boyfriend wrote this amazing song for his brother last night. It has 5 verses, but after hearing it I suggested him to merge the shorter 4 verses into 2 and then have the fifth verse as some kind of hook. He tried this and it did indeed flow much better. The song he wrote is pretty amazing, showing just a small fragment of the kind of man his brother was. Very heartfelt. Very touching.

I think that music is one of his outlets. Like writing is mine. In writing I find my solace, my comfort, my happy place. I've written so much this last fortnight. I think it's because I've been in such a constant state of upheaval.

For those of you worried about my lack of books...my best friend mailed me a stash of books she had loaned from me last month. I got them yesterday and I'm so giddy. They came just in the nick of time! It's only 6 books, but they should last me for a week. Hopefully the library will be done with their renovations by then. We hope.

Anyway, I'm seeing him tonight, I have to go get ready.

Book Angst

I cannot live without books ~ Thomas Jefferson.

I went to my local library today to return some books and update my stash for the next fortnight. There was a big sign on the closed doorway. "Closed for Renovations"

Who the hell does that? Close a whole library for renovating the rinky dinky computer lab? I mean, at least keep some areas open so that people can still borrow books man! Especially book worms like me. They referred all patrons to go to the other town library, the sucky one that noone likes to go because they don't have the good, new books/DVDs there. Add to that, it's clear across town, not central to anything and any books you borrow from there have to be returned there. Grrrrrr!

In addition, I've already packed all my books, even the staples. The library is going to be closed for 2 weeks. If I can't survive on what little I can find (magazine subscriptions and scrounging around in B&N), then I might have to break out the boxes labelled "The Classics, Favorite authors" box 1, 2 & 3 respectively. And yes, I do know what authors are in each box...it's alphabetical, duh!

You're right, I'm a nerd like that when it comes to reading.

Freaking Out!

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.~ Benjamin Franklin

Unfortunately, the friggin' landlady stood us up. I haven't heard from her since then. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I'm going through a phase right now. As I always do when it's time for a change. I start freakin' out. I hate change! I'm such a creature of habit that it's ridiculous. I order the same thing at a restaurant that I ordered the first day I entered. I sit in the same seat that I sat in the first day of class. I have the same daily routine---at least the morning part until social activities kick in. I have the same circle of friends.

It's my comfort zone. And I like it.

Even though every once in a while I'm prone to throwing darts on a map for my next place to move to, generally, I'm a habitual person. So now I'm freakin' out. Freakin' out that I won't find a place in time, that it will be somewhere totally horrible or atrociously expensive. Freaking out that maybe I'm taking the wrong step, that maybe all my decisions of the last 2 years have been off.

It's a phase. It will pass. Right?

Moving!

{Life}... is about growing up. It's about moving on, being strong, learning to be fearless. That's very sexy, don't you think? ~ Jody Watley

Another phase of my life is coming to an end. I'm moving y'all! I have a meet with my prospective landlady in a few hours. I want this place~ it's going to be perfect for all my needs. I won't say more until I actually see my future Crib, but from the pictures and description it sounds quite heavenly. Add to that the rent isn't atrociously expensive and it's still in my neck of the woods so I can still see all my friends/family.

Wish me luck!

The Other Side of Vixen

A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

The pen is mightier than the sword. ~ Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Now that saying is totally true. I could give you several examples of my intuition supporting my intelligence and vice versa but I'm sure you can come up with a few reasons of your own. I found out something last night that made me laugh evilly---yes darlings, I do have an evil laugh. I only break it out on occasion though.

One day in March I had a particularly difficult encounter with a particularly difficult person (not a friend) that really upset me to the point of tears. I really needed to get it off my chest. There was really no-one that I could vent to that would understand the level of my frustrations with a this crazy ass bitch (CAB) so I just decided to pour all my emotions out on paper. (You know, that whole anger management thing that they say write it down and tear it up? Something like that.) Except I did it electronically. I was actually intending to email it to her. After reading it over again (hours after I had calmed down), I realised that it was totally vindictive and utterly malicious so I took the initiative and didn't post it on my blog/email it like I originally intended. Instead, I sent it to a few of my friends who all agreed I needed to vent but would be cruel to send it.

However....the CAB was snooping around in someone else's personal files (not mine) and found it. Snooping as in contacting MSN to get a password reset question, setting a new password, hacking into an email account and reading all the mail from me. She then printed it out....why? For posterity sake I guess. Apparently she's very upset.

So is it partially my fault? Hell yeah, I did write out a 25 point letter totally dissing her. Can I be blamed for her finding it? Nope---she was the idiot that was snooping into mail that wasn't any of her business.

Now she's in a pickle. She can't say anything about it because she was snooping when she found it. However now she knows how I really feel about her. If she wasn't actively looking for trouble, trouble wouldn't have found her. Anyway sha, katakata go bust for dis one.

And I think with this blog post I've effectively shattered the rosy view that people have of me. Yep, I can be a total bitch with the best of them. So don't cross me or I'll break out my bat on you and enjoy every minute of it!

*Seriously though---I'm not sorry about this one.*

Breathe

Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live; Not where I love, but where I am, I die. ~ Robert Southey

I'm finally back in my zone, right in front of my darling computer...where everything that has happened in the last 3-4 weeks has been lived through and is nothing but a memory, or a pain that is being dealt with. It's been very busy, very interesting and very emotional 3 weeks.

It's good to be back! I have a ton of mail to wade through, both in real life and on the computer, as well as gazillion articles to write, blogs to read and phone calls to make.

The wedding was quite hectic actually, for reasons that make me shirk to get into. I didn't catch the bouquet (wasn't even there when it was thrown). However, of all the ladies that were at the wedding, I think my sister has the best chance of being the next bride. Hopefully she won't be a Bridezilla!

I had a somber and very emotional reunion with the Boyfriend yesterday. He picked me up from the aiport and even though he was very glad to see me, you could tell that his heart was still shattered. I ache for him. He cried this morning, heartwrenching sobs that made me tear up. I can't even imagine how crushed I would be if one of my sisters passed away so tragically. I don't know what to do....I want to help him---wish I could bring his brother back, but there isn't anything that I can do. Besides hold him, listen to him, and just be here.

That's it on my end. Hope your week is going by well.