Purpose

Happiness, contentment, the health and growth of the soul, depend, as men have proved over and over again, upon some simple issue, some single turning of the soul. ~George A. Smith

I'm tired, exhausted as all get out---but I'm happy. It's had to explain how such a deep level of happiness can surpass the shadows circling life's existence, but there you have it, Vixen is totally happy. It's not just the jobs that are making me ecstatic, it's the fact that somehow I've been feeling like no matter what happens in this life of the next, I'm going to be okay. We're going to be okay.

My sister was feeling pretty low today, lower than dead sea salt but I had to remind her how far she's come and how much she's accomplished. We are all put on this earth for a purpose. We just have to figure out what that purpose is, live it and fulfill it. In the finding of your purpose you find contentment & happiness as well as self actualization.

Items

Okay, I know the last post I was talking about what to get the Boyfriend for his birthday. To the anonymous male user that suggested a crotchless panty, Ummm, no! I already have a plethora of those;) in collection and in use (yes, TMI, I know!). But thanks for the shoutout, lol! I think it's a weird gift to get your partner lingerie that you are wearing. It's just another way for companies to reap money off everything. Even off the fact that you too are doing the damn thing.

Randomness

Wassup peoples?

Why does it seem like when I'm busy and don't check blogs is when everyone blogs like crazy? All through the weekend, things were quiet in the blogosphere and now people are posting almost 2 times daily. Yeesh!

One of the drawbacks with my new gig is that I have to constantly wash my hands. I've got to find some good antibacterial skin care products that I can use both in my laundry, in the shower and in my pocket that has moisturizer properties. This is a totally random thought, yes, I know.

I've been losing on my REM sleep so my brain isn't functioning in its totality today. I apologise.

Photos

I have only 3 weeks to come up with a great birthday present for the Boyfriend. This time last year, I'd already been working on my super secret project...a memory scrapbook chronicling our first year. However, now I'm faced with the ridiculous quest of topping that. How do you top that? I was thinking of perhaps sending a snapshot in for photo enlargement, either one of us as a couple or one with the kid thrown in...like a black and white retro grouping or snapshot to hang in the living room. But is that really a birthday present or a present present?

Okay, I do have some other ideas (but due to the fact that he might stumble upon this post I won't list them here...hahaha!), but time is running out quickly. July 19 will be here before I know it.

What's Up?

For those of you wondering where I've been the last few days...I'VE BEEN WORKING! I signed up with 2 per diem agencies for the time being to make rent and I've worked 2 night shifts and I'm still groggy. Plus, I'm signed on for Sat/Sun nights as well, have a training at my new Job on Monday and will be out of commission online for the next few days. Try not to miss me too much.

It's been crazy busy and I'm loving it. I'm definitely tired...but I'm loving it.

As my third pen died on me at work last night, I realized that now that I'm back to working and charting and using pens everyday, I might as well go order a bunch of discount pens. I'm very particular about my pens, and can't use just any regular ol' Bic. So ordering ones myself will do nicely.

Sticky Fingers

The five separate fingers are five independent units. Close them and the fist multiplies strength. This is organization. ~James Cash Penney

Today my sister Kafo sent me a brilliant financial plan that I must say is so friggin' brilliant that I'm going to hire her as my personal financial advisor. I figure with all the money I'm going to save off interest charges and paying credit card companies I can throw a few hundred bucks her way. I love you little sister!!!

I'm so glad my parents had you and that you didn't die when you got cut at 5. It's a good thing that we live in a country that offers really good child insurance and you have all your fingers in their entirety.

Hehehe...I couldn't resist. I love you!

Home Is...Not

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

My home is my castle. My home is my paradise. My home is my solace, the one place in the world that I'm supposed to feel safe, connected and at peace. However yesterday it was not the case. I felt as if I was cast adrift on tumultuous, choppy waters and forced to swim to land. I felt as if I literally and emotionally could kill someone.

I can't really go into it, but I really feel like I invited much more than a desperate family when I said, "Come live with us." I feel like I invited a maelstrom of intrigue, drama, and dealing with petty issues that in the grander scheme of life don't even matter. It was so crazy and overly emotionally charged that I'm surprised the whole place didn't incinerate with all the wild emotions flying around. No matter how kind and nice I've been to you, it turns out that you just don't appreciate it and turn around stabbing me in the back and front. Well...I'm done...totally done.

I only have 22 more years on this earth. I don't need to waste it dealing with your bullshit. Get your life together, grow the fuck up and stop sponging off the generosity and sympathies of kind people, the government and your uterus. Get a job and move on. Your time here is up.

Dinner

I have an enormous fondness for delicious food. It's very comforting. ~Teri Garr

Today, after an extremely fun-filled day spent with the Boyfriend and the Kid, I came home and threw down in the kitchen. Like I kicked ass in my kitchen. I threw together a meal so perfectly delicious in less than 45 minutes that would give Wolfgang Puck a run for his friggin' title. I don't know whether it was the fact that my spirit was finally aligned with my life or that the ingredients were all just there, but whatever it was, something utterly miraculous happened in my kitchen tonight.

It all started with a pot of rice. I decided to make Jollof Rice, which is like Jambalaya rice but definitely more savory and spicy. It's one of my favorite dishes to cook, but it's so easy to screw up because of the fine balance between all the spices used, the heat of the stove, and the probability of burning the bottom before the rice is completely cooked. Somehow though, all these foibles were avoided and it came together in a stunning delicious shock of flavor!

Moving right along was the tofu. For those of you that know tofu, you know that ish is kinda dicey to cook with, because it's such an amorphous substance. I wanted to do suya tofu (what? vegetarians need suya too!!)---uhuh, and thought that I would first fry the tofu on the stove top. That wasn't working because it kept soaking up the oil instead of frying out crispy, so I threw it into the oven, set it to broil and melted some jalepeno pepper jack cheese on top.

The final dish was an eggplant sautéed with different veggies that ended up turning into a stir fry with a distinct yet spicy peanut butter sauce. They all came together quite well and with a dollop of sour cream on top of the eggplant it was a magnificent culinary delight that really did titillate and tantalize not only our taste buds but also our bellies. I'm so glad there are leftovers!

The Boyfriend said that if he didn't already love me to pieces he would be head over heels in love with me after that meal....*sigh*! Mommy always did say a way to a man's heart was through his stomach---she wasn't playing when she threw us in the kitchen at 11 years old.

So I guess this is a shout out to my mom's....good lookin' out Mommy dearest!

Letting Go

Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our mis-perceptions. ~Gerald Jampolsky

We all make mistakes, mistakes and choices that affect more than what we even realize in that moment of decision. We say things that should never be said, think things that should never be thought, do things that should never be done. And the end of the day, we end up hurting each other, sometimes thoughtlessly, sometimes foolishly, sometimes arrogantly.

I can't pick at the wounds anymore. I can't live in the past. I can't. I'm letting it all go, the pain, the hurt the anguish, the anger, the guilt and the stress. The person I am now is not the same person I was a year ago. Not even the same person I was a minute ago. Every moment is to be savored and treasured. Life is too short to lament the wrongs of the past. I'm letting it go.

I don't want to look back on my 26th year and hate it as much as I hated my 21st. I don't want to live in a ball of regret and shame. I'm letting go.

Let.Go.Too.

Hot!!

The glaciers started moving for the first time in thousands of years. Greenland is going so fast it's almost funny. About 800 miles from the North Pole, it's melting. ~James Lovelock

It's so hot today! Almost as hot as it is in Nigeria. Almost---but not quite. I don't know why it is on a hot day like today that the Boyfriend and I have to spend it trudging up and down the stairs with various accouterments and kids bedding, helping my room mate move back in. Thank goodness for ice! Ice is a wonderful creation.

Happy Children

Allow children to be happy in their own way, for what better way will they find? ~Samuel Johnson

I went to a graduation party today with the Boyfriend and we both cut such a cute picture. (Can I actually say that without sounding vain?) Yes...the Boyfriend and I are so hot together! We are hotter than Brangelina! Oh yeah---betcha didn't know that!

The mother of a student that he tutors invited us and the Kid to come out to celebrate her son's graduation. It was sooo fun! At first I thought I would be out of my depth, going to a party that I didn't know anyone but the Boyfriend, but moment's after I got there I was at ease, playing spades with a group of ladies like I was back in college...(best times RS!), I did win by the way...even ran a Boston towards the end.

Back to the story. It was the most fun party I'd been all year, even though there were a bunch of little kids running around screaming. They had a large, inflatable tent-jumpey thing and the kids were having a field day with that. The food was great and everyone was so friendly. Towards the end of the party, I needed a moment to myself and found a corner by some silk trees to watch the scene without actually being a part of it.

Children are truly the most fun beings to watch...they have such a joy about them, with no stress, worries or burdens. All they want to do is play. And drink soda. LOL! Anyway it was such a fun party and I"m glad that I went out there.

Fireplaces

Once upon a time there was a piece of wood. It was not an expensive piece of wood. Far from it. Just a common block of firewood, one of those thick, solid logs that are put on the fire in winter to make cold rooms cozy and warm. ~Carlo Collodi

I was watching an old episode of the Bachelor last week and I saw an outdoor fireplace. I've never thought of a house with a outdoor fireplace...how cozy is that freezing your ass off outside just to watch the flames? I'm more of a realist---especially since I get cold so easily. If you are going to gimme a fireplace, it better be one that's inside, where it's nice and warm, away from the elements and the cold!

Euphoria

The moment of euphoria is when you have the breakthrough and you say it, and then begin to shape and deal with what I've created. ~Paul Simon

I got some really, Really, REALLY good news today that put me in an euphoric state as high as the chandeliers. You know when you get awesome news and the first person you want to share it with is your ultimate confidante? Well, at least now I know who that is. You guessed it---the Boyfriend.

And yes Kafo, before you ask, you were next in line. I know you must be wondering how in the universe you got booted from first to second but at least you weren't the last, y'know? Now doesn't that put things in perspective.

Grown

To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamorous outfits. ~Lorna Luft

My friend just closed escrow on this beautiful investment property in Nevada. I find it so weird that a few years ago we were both just little girls with big dreams and now one by one each dream is turning us with each passing day into grown ass women. I don't wanna be grown! I want to stay in that idyllic college phase where you have your independence from home but not that many responsibilities yet. That was the life!

Changes

Yesterday it became official. I'm out of the real estate industry and heading closer and closer towards nursing. My cool old boss and the Boyfriend are both really into it...kind of like the way me and my nursing friends are about the other side of the coin. I read somewhere that you have to find a job you love and that makes going to work fun. Hopefully my new unit will be like my old unit---lots and lots of fun!

Good Deed

To be doing good deeds is a man's most glorious task. ~ Sophocles

Today I got a very pleasant surprise in the mail. I had helped a group of ladies out with a competition that they were having on their site. My contribution was to write a group of short stories for them. It didn't take that much time on my part, and you all know that writing is something I enjoy to do.

Imagine my surprise when today via the good ol' USPS I got a lovely thank you card signed by all of them with a Barnes & Noble gift certificate for $25.00---woohoo! The level of excitement I have right now, you would think that they mailed me a deed to a luxury home or something. It was so thoughtful and for my book loving self the perfect gift. It really did make my day, my head is swimming with all the possibilities that I can get to read.

Thank you darlings!

Story

I read a story today about a guy that got his hand totally demolished on a plasma cutting machine. You would think that something like that would not only physically, but mentally debilitate him but he went on into therapy and reconstructive surgery...and went on from there to become a surgeon!

The Stranger Things...

The Overwhelmed Naija Babe tagged me to share some things that most people don't know about me. I'd like to consider myself an open book so believe it or not, I actually had to think for a while on this one.

1. I detest cleaning the toilet. I can do every other chore in the house with ease but something about cleaning the gadarobe rubs me the wrong way. Even with wearing gloves and a pint of 409, I still can't stand doing the toilet. It's weird that I would start with this but it's on my mind.
   
2. I used to eat sand when I was a child. Like alot---so much that I think I must have a stone in my intestines or something. In nursing school, I found out that pica, the craving to eat non-food substances like sand, is actually associated with children that have anemia. Apparently the low iron levels are substituted in certain things like chalk and sand. So, I can blame my sand eating days on the sickle cell.
   
3. I don't take offense very easily but if you do slip up and say something to me that is way over the line, yes, I do bear a grudge. Not as much as my sister but still enough to have you wondering if I can ever forgive. Very few people have ever crossed that line---like I said for the most part I'm easygoing. But those that have crossed it have never been able to fall back into my good graces. So don't piss me off!

Okay that's all I can think about for right now. Holla at me when you have your list done. You are all tagged!

Flighty

Imagine driving down the highway, jamming to your radio, your window is down and wind is whipping through your hair. The sun is out---at last and there is no traffic, just you in your favorite car, having a lovely summer day. All of the sudden the truck in front of you swerved to avoid missing something and the truck toolbox lurched off his truck right in your path. You only have a split second to decide what to do---do you go right or left?

Okay, nothing that dramatic has happened to me lately on the highway, although a fridge did fall out right in front of me. Luckily the car I was driving had excellent brakes and I was able to come to a screeching halt and the guy behind me didn't hit me either!

I don't know why I'm even posting this. I"m just delirious tonight I think.