The Unveiling

After several requests, I've finally gotten permission for the Italian aka The Boyfriend aka O to be unmasked. Of all his pix, these are by far my favorite...it just makes me melt. I'm posting this on here for a limited time only so get your good look in while you can.

Without further ado, I present, Mr Hotness himself, in the flesh.

You missed it. Maybe you'll catch it next time around.

My Anthem

The most useless are those who never change through the years. ~M. Barrie

Confucius said that, "Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."

I don't claim to be wise but I know I'm definitely not stupid.
I have changed. However, it's a good change.

I'm more assertive, more outspoken, go after what I want more. I don't settle for second best, I don't put up with shit treatment from friends and men. I control my emotions better, have grown more mature. I see things more pragmatically and can look at the whole picture instead of my own little box. I'm more open-minded and less judgemental. I've stopped being 'fake'---instead I'm real. I've forgiven myself---for everything in my past and future. I speak the truth, my truth as I see it when I see it.

It's not a bad change.
It's a good change.

This is me. Get used to it.

I'll still change again.

Walls

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. ~ Jim Rohn

You guys know how I feel about change. I abhor change, I'm a creature of habit that loves my routine almost to the point of OCD-ism. I'm a planner, I like to have things mapped out ahead of time with extra cash handy for incidentals. Don't get me wrong, I'm not all rigid in those plans, I just want a nice framework to flow with.

I love planning.

I love it even better when things go according to plan. Especially when the people fall into the plan that my mind has laid out for them. Yes, it's like a chessboard and I'm a control freak, but anything less than that and I retreat into my solitude for days at a time.

Which is probably why you haven't heard from me in a while. And why if you tried calling me you got my very overloaded answering machine.

I'm retreating for the next couple of days. I just wish I hadn't packed up all my favorite books. Hmmm, maybe a short visit to the library is in order before I hibernate. And the liquor store. And the pharmacy for cough syrup. And the grocery store to stock up on more shortbread cookies. *sigh*

In better news, I've finally found the most absolutely PERFECT picture of the Boyfriend ever. Remember the photo shoot he did a few months ago? Turns out he's had those pix back for a while and finally shared them with me. I have one as my wallpaper now...utterly dreamy. In fact I'm going to go drool over it right now just to make me feel better. *sniff*

So Sick

Tea tempers the spirit and harmonizes the mind; dispels lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens thought and prevents drowsiness. ~ Lu Yu

I'm not feeling up to my best this week. It was a hellish weekend. To summarise, I spent most of it on the side of the rode in a broken down car that was steaming like crazy. It took 12 hours to get home on a trip that should have taken an hour because we had to keep stopping to cool it down every 3-4 minutes. The only good thing was that I was stuck with the Boyfriend, who is excellent company even in times of stress.

I spent yesterday recuperating from all that only to end up with a sore throat and that wacky flu that's been going around. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep the next couple of days away in the hopes that when I wake up I'll feel better.

The good news---he has it too so we can still kiss! Hahahahaha!!!!

Ok, I'm doped up on Dayquil so everything is funny to me. Forgive my rambling. Hope your weekend was 100 times better than mine.

Beyonce Sings

This is a video clip from Beyonce's performance in Nigeria last week at the ThisDay Music Festival. Homegirl belted out the national anthem like she's been singing it since elementary school. Apparently she brought the crowd to tears. Anyway, this is for all my Naija peeps out there....enjoy!

Religion vs Spirituality

This is a heavier post, not meant to strike controversy, but mainly to explore the indoctrination of my youth with the universal concepts of man that I've realised along the way.

Which is more important, religion or spirituality?

According to the Wikipedia, religion is defined as a system of thought, feeling, and action that is shared by a group and that gives the members an object of devotion; a code of behavior by which individuals may judge the personal and social consequences of their actions; and a frame of reference by which individuals may relate to their group and their universe.

While Spirituality concerns itself with matters of the spirit. The spiritual, involving as it may perceived eternal verities regarding Man's ultimate nature, often contrasts with the temporal or with the worldly. The central defining characteristic of spirituality is a sense of connection to a much greater whole which includes an emotional experience of religious awe and reverence.

My definition although broader is more succinct. Spirituality is your connectedness with God or your supreme being while religion is your observance of the connectedness. Religion without spirituality is hypocrisy because you are just exhibiting works without the essence behind it. I feel that's why terrorists are able to kill without compunction, because they base their belief on religion, the acts that support the institution of their faith. Conversely, having spirituality without religion, although thought to be more powerful is also an illusion. Because the connectedness you have with God will cause you to want to follow the right path, and produce the works and the observance of that path.

So which is more important? Neither. And yet, both are. They should walk hand in hand. Religion is the shell while spirituality is the fruit of the coconut. Without the shell to protect it, the coconut would just dry up and be tasteless. Without the fruit in the shell, the shell would just be worthless. They improve each other.

What are you thoughts?

Heroes

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. ~Will Rogers

I think I've found my Alias replacement. At last! It's HEROES, yall, the new sci-fi drama that is taking supernatural powers to a whole new level. I know, you think powers and think it's going to be an X-men rip-off but honestly, that's not the case. It tells a whole different story and doesn't gel with the X-men storyline in any way, shape or form. The show has a wide array of yummy, culturally diverse actors, super powers, ass-kicking a la Sydney Bristow, an indestructible cheerleader , a bunch of stuff that I don't understand (reminds of Rambaldi/Alias plotline), enough twists & intrigue to ponder for hours at a time and...it has Hiro!!! Hiro is the bomb y'all.

Seriously, if you haven't checked it out, you need to jump on it ASAP. It's already been picked up for Season 2 with NBC and it comes on Monday nights at 9pm so you can schedule it right after Prison Break. You can view all previous episodes on NBC.com to catch you up or read Erin's recaps on Television Without Pity (she's the same funny recapper that did Alias!). Oh and NBC is re-showing the first 3 epis on Sunday the 22nd (8pm) just to catch all you latecomers up.

I'll probably be dishing on it in the upcoming weeks so if you want to know what I'm talking about jump on the bandwagon NOW! This means YOU as well Poetic Justice!!!

Mushy

Love is something eternal, the aspect may change, but not the essence. ~ Vincent Van Gogh

I'm Baaaaack! I spent the last few days settling in, unpacking, doing laundry and spending time with the very fabulous Boyfriend whom I totally missed to pieces. If love was like a ladder, and each rung built on previous experiences and what you've experienced together---then we have totally gotten to a whole new level.

You know how I really try not to gush about him but I end up doing it anyway? Yeah, this is one of those posts. So to those not ready for a cheesy rhapsody of love...check in tomorrow when I've returned to my regularly scheduled programming.

I'm soooooo whipped. Totally sprung. Head over heels over head over heels in love. And for once in my life, it feels so reciprocal and so right! He's awesome---like totally awesome! If I had the power, I would bottle up a little bit of him just so I could share with all the wonderful women in the world that have yet to find true love. He's that great!

I've officially spent 72+ hours with him, and I'm not sick of him yet. We went to look at houses yesterday. We had so much fun together, haggling with realtors, asking questions and acting all couple-y. I felt like a newlywed! We liked the same ones, and got all excited, envisioning what our house would look like fully furnished. He held my hand alot, in public and private and we had such a great time together. Even when we were just in the car saying nothing at all.

Between one of the open houses we stopped at the mall. He took me by the arm and we ended up at a jewelry store to look at engagement rings. Say what?? Turns out we even have the same tastes in rings. Tasteful, elegant, classy and still eye-catching. Within minutes we had settled on our favorite ring. (He didn't buy anything---but the lady snuck him a description of the ring with the SKU number....)

Why am I saying all this? Because I'm brimming over with happiness. Because I just can't get enough of my wondrous gift. Because honestly---I can't blog anything else except a huge "Thank you God!"

Spread the Power

As most of you know, I write for the Elexa Sexy Smart blog. There's a new campaign that just launched today that I think is an admirable one to help increase sexual safety in women. If you click on the links to the Elexa blog, you will find a coupon for $2.00 towards your purchase of an Elexa brand of condoms. So what's not to love? Help other women stay safe AND get high quality condoms at a reduced rate. There's good karma in here for everyone!


Being SexySmart means being responsible about your sexual health and enjoying a more intimate and pleasurable sexual experience on your own terms. As women are twice as likely as men to contract an STD, the makers of Trojan condoms want women to protect themselves and help protect others.

Beginning in October, when women (or men!) buy a box of Elexa condoms, we will give a box to women’s shelters and clinics, because no woman can afford to go uninformed and unprotected.

For every box of Elexa condoms purchased from now until December, the makers of Trojan will donate a box of Elexa condoms to Gifts In Kind - a minimum of 1 million condoms – to help protect women in need. Gifts in Kind, the leader in the field of product philanthropy, will distribute these condoms to women across the United States who are at risk of STDs and unintended pregnancy and who may not have access to or the means for which to buy condoms.

Keeping Women SexySmart

In the U.S. alone, seven out of ten sex acts happen without a condom. As a result, the transmission of STDs is growing every year. The Elexa brand, from the makers of Trojan condoms, is focused on not only supplying women with the necessary tools, but also with educating them and encouraging sexually active women at risk of STDs and unintended pregnancy to use condoms more frequently.

To stay SexySmart, we encourage women (and men!) to log online to communicate with a variety of sexual advisors and their peers, ask questions and educate themselves about their sexual health:

• Elexa SexySmart Blog, http://www.ElexaSexySmart.com

Join our Cause to help stop the spread of STDs in women.

Together we can make a difference. By protecting ourselves, we can also protect each other- uniting to eradicate STDs in women.

www.ElexaSexySmart.com

Misses & Wishes

I love being with my family, my friends, and my boyfriend. ~ Monica Keena

Now if I could have them all in one place, life would be idyllic. My vacation comes to an end in approximately 48 hours. As much as I want to stay, I really am craving to go back home.

I miss my bed. And my books. And my computer that knows all my habits/passwords and favorite pages. I miss my routine, and having 5 bars on my Cingular phone. I miss my family, and those squishy all encompassing loving hugs that they give.

I miss the Boyfriend. Alot. And it's not even a week yet.

I never figured I would be part of a 'joined at the hip' couple---and we aren't. We don't even see each other every day. But just the illusion of distance has added a different vibe to our conversations. I really didn't think I had grown that attached to him but it turns out that yeah...I can't take a vacation without thinking about him regularly throughout the day.

If I could have all my close family, friends and the Boyfriend in one location, I think I'll be ecstatic for the rest of my days. (At least until they start getting on my nerves!)

Hope you are having a lovely weekend as well.

The Alley

I went to an outdoor market today. It reminded me alot of the markets we have all over the place in Nigeria. It's called the Alley, and it's in downtown LA with mostly ethnic business owners that sell things wholesale prices. And to top it off---you can bargain down the price like you are in a bazaar. Wowza!

It was hard to resist buying stuff I didn't need, 5 sets of socks for 5 bucks, cute knockoff purses/clothes for hella cheap prices. And they had sexy jeans for about $9.99. Ooooweee! The only drawback is that it was cash only, but they had ATMs everywhere so you could spend as much as you wanted. Fabrics, fresh produce, carpets, suitcases and everything man!

If you ever have the chance, and aren't scared of sitting in LA traffic for close to 2 hours, check out the Alley.

Braids

I got tiny micro braids on my hair today. It took 10 hours! YIKES. Fortunately I was able to sit still and not fall asleep. She did a really great job, very even braids, all exquisitely tiny. That's another great reason to come down here. On top of that was the price---$85.00 baby! They were so pretty that I had to add a nice tip on top.

Anyway, I'm going to LA proper tomorrow. Hopefully it won't rain.

Communicate

Being that I'm revelling in having beautiful, hot sunshine in October, my brain seems to be totally fried today. Yesterday was utterly fab---thanks for the emails, cards, phone calls and love.

Remember my sister, the poetic one? She wrote this beautiful poem for me yesterday that brought tears to my eyes. For those of you in the reading mood, check it out HERE.

As for everyone else, here's a lovely blogthing to fill the blog for the day. If you have a few minutes, do the quiz and let me know what your communication style is.

You Communicate With Your Eyes

When you say, "I'll believe it when I see it" - you really mean it. For you, what you see is a lot more important than what you hear. You don't take someone's words at face value. You judge people by their facial expressions, body language, and appearance. You tend to be quiet, but when you talk, you tend to make eye contact and describe things in colorful detail.

How Do You Communicate?

Dear Vixen

Dear Vixen,

I'm writing this letter with the wish that I had the ability to put it in a time capsule and send it backwards to you, so that you could get it on the eve of your 13th birthday, at the point when you are finally emerging out of your childhood into womanhood.

So far your life has been pretty great. You have adoring parents, wonderful siblings and no personal tragedies to speak of. You get to win all the fights with Poetic Justice even though she's bigger and badder than you. Life's good. You managed to live through the worst health battle you have yet encountered, fighting typhoid, malaria, pneumonia and a sickle cell crises combo with flair and confidence. Good thing you made it to Camp this year. You would have really hated that.

Two years from now, you will finally stand up for what you want, and I have to say that I'm really proud of you. I know it took a while, 9 months of hell in a public school before you worked up the nerve to ask your parents to send you off to private boarding school. Your timing is impeccable, and you manage to skip a whole grade. Deciding to go to ASHS was the best choice for you, and your whole family will thank you for it. Be sure however to solidify your standing in school as a woman of substance before Poetic & your other siblings come over 6 months later and instantly become the most popular thing on campus. I'm not asking you to be Miss Popularity---but could you just try to be a little more outgoing? Jeez, it's like you live in your world of books, studying and writing, and only poke your head out of a book long enough to grab another. Socialize with your classmates. Form tighter friendships. These are some of the best friends you could ever make all under one roof. Oh, and don't get that upset when you aren't elected Head Girl, it's nothing personal, they just didn't want their school prefect to be one that is out sick alot.

You make me really proud with those grades though. Freshman college year was a breeze. Sophomore year brought by some bumps. Don't let that whole craziness with Smacker affect you so hard. Just because he's a little stupid boy that doesn't know when to take no for an answer is not your fault. In fact, go out with him, accept all those presents and have fun. Don't worry, your mom created an Out Clause from the whole drama, so enjoy yourself for the next 9 months. Before Smacker knows what hit him you would have bounced anyway. Party a little bit, break the rules more---loosen up girl, you are way too square.

When you do come to the US, explore every facet of your new life and experiences. Stay away from Columbia House & BMG though---those motherfuckers will take all your hard earned money! Be sure to stay focused in college, because nursing school is no joke. I know it looks like it's hella hard, especially when you keep getting sick every semester, but don't worry---you WILL graduate, with flying colors at that. Please learn how to drive and while you are at it, get a driver's license. Because if not, it's going to take you half a decade to actually get one! Oh, and Sherwin is an asshole, no matter how pretty he is, be sure to pass that on to Joycii and the crew before he starts breaking hearts.

After graduation, do something fun with your classmates. You all planned a congratulatory cruise....what happened to that idea? Perhaps if you had done that you would have stayed in touch better. I know staying in touch isn't your strong forte, but how are you supposed to know about the 10 year reunion if you don't keep in touch?

Everything happens for a reason, so don't hold the mistakes you made in the next few years on yourself. Make sure you learn from all of them and don't make them again. Also, practice due diligence when it comes to contracts and status. Read the fine print! Start saving in your 401K from the first day on the job that you are eligible, you'll need that money later. Don't let opportunities slip you by and live every moment with fervor and the thirst for adventure that I've known that you've developed. Especially the summers of 2001/2002--for surely babe, those are the best summers of your life, so far.

And yeah, have fun, but please, cut down on the shopping sprees and racking up the credit card debt. Actually listen to your Mom when she tells you that credit cards are a gift from the devil incarnate and stay on the straight and narrow. Pay off your balance every month and you'll be fine for many years to come.

When Poetic jumps into the fray with any of your lousy boyfriends, even if you didn't think they were lousy at the time and were the best thing since sliced bread, listen to her...she actually has really good intuition about these things. Think with your head, and not with your heart---at least not until the wonderful fall of 2005. That way you can spare yourself some heartbreak.

You're a pretty smart girl, with a good head on your shoulders, I'm actually proud of you for sticking with your ideals and doing your own thing despite opposition from all sides. I know that you want me to tell you more but I can't. At least, not for the next few years. I can tell you this however, on October 30, 2005 you will meet the most amazing guy you have ever met. Trust me, he'll stand out. Don't be so hesitant---he's actually really a great guy.

One last thing, the powerball winning numbers for September 23, 2006 are 13, 21, 26, 45, 50 and the Powerball is 20. The Power Play multiplier is 4. It's a $201 million dollar win so make sure you buy that ticket. Congratulations in advance.

Consider it your birthday present to yourself;)

Have a nice life and I'll be seeing you soon,

Smooches,

Moi!