Monday, June 26, 2006


Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. ~ John F. Kennedy

Thanks to everyone who called/commented on the last post. Your support was very meaningful and I'm touched that you would even care, especially those of you that don't even know me personally.

The last six days have been kind of dark, each in their own way. I was struggling all week trying not to fall sick again, but finally just had to give in to the demands of my body. As much as I hate getting a crises because it disturbs the balance of my life (and you know how we Libras are about balance), this time I just couldn't fight it off any longer and had to give in to the fires of pain that wracked me. Thankfully, it was a very short bout and I'm back to my effervescent self.

I packed four boxes yesterday. As I taped each one shut I was astounded with the sense of loss that overwhelmed me. I feel like I've lost a huge part of myself in the last 14 months, pieces that I don't think I can ever get back. At the same time, I've learned more about myself than I ever thought I could know. I've discovered my resilience in the face of adversity, my power to bounce back from heartbreak to find true love and found out who my real friends are from the many that clamored to call me friend. I'm no longer a young adult, but a full fledged one. And I feel weary, old and wise beyond my years.

I decided to stop fighting the will of God, the whims of fate and the flawed system that was set up to discourage instead of protect. I'm going back home, defeated, a failure in my eyes--but at least I'm alive, right?

Hopefully this time next year it will be a different story.

Have a great week everyone. And honestly---quit bitchin' about your jobs. Be glad you have one.


Poetic Justice said...

Amen and Amen!

Virginia Belle said...

OMG. are you ok? did you lose your job??

i am sending more virtual hugs. i don't want you to run out!


just do what my mom tells me to do when i'm upset: keep repeating over and over in your head, "in two weeks, this won't matter as much anymore." it sounds crazy, but it works. it reminds you that this is only a bad period, not an entirely bad life. hang in there.

Ore said...

Sorry that you are going through tough times and hope you feel better.

Why are you moving back home? It doesn't sound like you want to?