Bad Day

There's nothing wrong or evil about having a bad day. There's everything wrong with making others have to have it... with you. ~ Neil Cavuto

To everyone that tried calling me yesterday and got my voicemail and no returned calls ~ I'm sorry. I just didn't want to pass the cosmic twists of bad luck that have been following me around lately. Well, not lately. Just lately as in the last 15 months.

You know those trite sayings that people tell you when you are going through something and they don't know what to say? Shit like, "Don't worry, it's going to work out", "Everything is going to be ok...." etc. Yeah, please, don't do that. If you don't know what to say sometimes it's better to just shut the fuck up and not say anything at all.

Today I honestly engaged in a good sobbing session. I haven't cried like that in ages! I didn't want to cry at all, was actually going to 'brave it out' but I was on the phone with the Italian and he insisted that I shouldn't hang up. Something about me not hiding my emotions from him.

So I bawled. Like hysterically. I know it totally threw him for a loop. Bawling is totally not like me. I'm usually the rational, realistic person that thinks on my feet and comes up with a plan in like 5 minutes. But now I don't have a plan. I don't know what to do. I honestly don't. So I cried.

Tomorrow I can be strong. Tomorrow I can have a plan. But today---today, I'm going to be weak, vulnerable and utterly crushed.