Sunday, April 23, 2006

Phone Calls

I just get too many phone calls during the day. If I'm in the middle of a scene and the phone rings, it really disrupts my concentration. ~ Kevin J. Anderson

Most of the time, I manage to flit through my life in a bubble of spontaneity however at other times, my creature of habit tendencies raises its head. I have the same routine when I wake up in the morning, the stuff I do, what I have for breakfast, the order of my morning rarely varies unless I have an appointment that I'm rushing for.

Having moved to the West coast from the east didn't help things that much in the area of communication and I have a few friends that I haven't spoken to at all since I moved out here (they get updates on my life via the blogs/my sisters/emails) or just assume that no news is good news. And yet, I know that when I do pick up the phone to call them, everything just resumes the status quo, we call, we gist and we catch up once in a blue moon and pick up where we left off. That's the beauty of friendship.

It's not that I hate being on the phone--it's just that I can't be on the phone and do everything else that I need to do during the day. Yes, I do have a spiffy Bluetooth earpiece but most of my tasks need my concentration or undivided attention. Plus, if I'm with friends, I consider it utterly rude to talk to others in their presence. I'm also a highly sensitive person and the emotions or mood of the person I talk to can affect my mood, either I react negatively to their situation or their emotion or I don't say anything and store the emotion in my cauldron until I can deal with it. I wouldn't want to place my last emotions on the next person I talk to, so I have to calm myself down and relax before I can even be normal or ready to talk to anyone else.

With keeping in touch on a consistent basis, I actually have to plan it. The friends/family I do talk to are on a schedule spread out over the week in varied increments and have the exception for calling me during an emergency. Most friends/sisters get a 'how you doing just calling to say hi' call once a week or one of those 10 minute, what's up let's catch up phone calls.

I'm one of those people that really enjoy my alone time and end up getting lost/engrossed in whatever I'm doing at the moment. Sometimes, the ringing phone actually jangles my nerves and I ignore it just to stay in the zone of the moment. Leave a message, I will call you back when I get around to it. It might be a few hours, a day, a week, I'm not pressed about it. The people I talk to know that I will eventually get back to them, and most of my girls do the same to me, no biggie. If it's a die-hard emergency, your message will let me know this and I'll call you back.

Why am I telling you all this? Well apparently yesterday I royally pissed off one of my friends because I didn't return her call fast enough. She called me at noon, I Immed her online around 4. It wasn't an emergency, nothing dire and I was hardpressed to understand why she was so irritated. Apparently she feels that I don't make her a priority in my life (by not calling you back fast enough? Jeez! Didn't know I was on the timer here.). Hmmm okay, whatever sweets. I'm not fazed, I know she'll get over it eventually---it's not personal, it's just a Vixen habit that comes with the package.

I call you when I want to talk to you--if I don't want to talk, I probably won't call. Do you really want me to call you when I can't/don't want to talk to you? Trust me, it will be stilted conversation that would drive you nuts.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest...I have some Sunday afternoon scheduled calls to make.


serendipity said...

oh well i guess some friends just feel that they need you at that particular time and they hope that you will be there for them.

kinda demanding for them to accuse you like that, i think, but i guess you just gotta explain that you were busy?

sometimes i feel like that too. While i manage to concentrate deeply on sumthing i hate to be disturbed. But most of the time my attention span is short, so what the heck. haha

Ore said...

I'm not really a phone person either. And I understand what you mean about not wanting to combine tasks with talking on the phone too. I hate it when people try to keep you on the phone long after the conversation has dried-up. Argh!!

A long time ago though, I realised that some people really take offence if you don't get to them asap. Like Serendipity said, sometimes they really need to talk about something important. Or sometimes they just want to talk.