New Year, New Choices

Your choices today determine your tomorrow and you make your life through the power of choice. ~ Kathy Smith

When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.~ WJ Slim

I have a dilemma. I've had a dilemma for the past 3 years and I'm sick and tired of dealing with it. It's a choice that I have to make, a big one, that will affect my future and the world as I know it will irrevocably change.

The question is, will it change for the better, or will it get worse?

For the last three years, I've been waffling, just going through the daily rudiments of life, reacting and avoiding in everyway to avoid making this decision, just struggling to survive and be happy.

Last year, my New Years resolution was that I would deal with it, make the choice, once and for all and deal with the consequences later. However, the waffling continued, with me finding a dozen other reasons not to choose now.

If I had chosen, I would be in a different place now. I would have already finished the hurdle, and been at the other side. But I didn't. And so here I sit...waiting...and waiting, for the tumultuous end.

What I'm really waiting for is for someone to make the choice for me, so that once again I can react. But there is noone that can. I can only make it for myself. And therein lies the dilemna. Because if things don't work out the way I want them too, I can only blame myself. Libras are fence straddlers, we can never make up our minds. But I NEED to make up my mind and stick with it and move on with my life.

I can't stay in this situation anymore. I just can't.