Wednesday, March 19, 2008

On Being Different

I think being different, going against the grain of society is the greatest thing in the world. ~Elijah Wood

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday that I haven't spoken to in a decade. As I was catching her up on my life, she stated, "Wow Vix, you are still the same. You are still doing your own thing!"

That comment lead me to an introspective phase. Have I really been the same Vixen from 10 years ago? Perhaps she noticed something in me a decade ago that I didn't notice in myself, that thirst for adventure, the wish to live life on my own terms, the quest to answer to no one but myself. Perhaps she sensed 10 years ago that I was different from the pack, I never followed the dictates of the group, I silently acquiesced to the gestures of my position but rebelled in action.

I think the only difference between then and now is that now my revolutions are open and my rebellions more flaunting. Back then I would do and say what was expected of me in public, and do my own thing in private. Now I do and say what I feel in public, and live my life the way I want to live it in private. Back then I was too shy, too introverted and too polite to just let reign words that would fully express my intentions and my feelings. Now, I struggle with lacking tact.

So I guess I have changed. Perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse, one can't really tell. But I do know that I love the me now than the me then. And I guess that is the most important thing of all.

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