I've been sick for 14 days. 12 of those days were spent in the hospital. 2 different hospitals. Oh, and I had a 2 day stint where I was home but had a relapse. So needless to say my last 2 weeks have totally sucked. But I'm glad that I'm alive. As soon as I got home, I jumped into the shower and got to experience a marvel of all marvels...HOT RUNNING WATER!!!
While I was ill, I had alot of time to think. I thought about my life, my choices, my decisions, my friends and my situation. I actually made some pretty tough decisions, during the more lucid stages of my stay.
- I'm going back to Nigeria. It's home and there is nothing wrong with it. There is no future for me here, nothing but a seething vacuum of mediocrity. I can't work, I can't go to school and I barely exist. I need to go back to where I started and rebuild my life over again. Ever since I made that decision, my heart has been lighter and my choices have become more clear cut. I've told most of my dear friends and have even picked a date. July 25.
- I've realised who my true friends are and who the fair weather friends are. It isn't until calamity strikes that you actually have a clearer vision of the depth of your friendships. So once again, I've been able to weed out the chaff and keep around me only die-hard true friends.
- I'm addicted to my computer. Of everything I missed, I missed the internet with a ferocity that belied even my own comprehension. I knew I was getting better when on Days 9-12, I called my sister and had her read my email to me just to keep me kind of abreast. I couldn't convince her to read all your blogs to me, so I have much catching up to do!
- I want to strangle my room-mate. She is a little old lady who when she is well, is probably a sweet thing. But when she is sick and in pain, she is a screaming, whiny, complaining verigo that made me want to reach over the curtain and smack her several times. She complained nonstop 24/7, hated everything and everyone and was so negative that I sometimes pressed my pain button even when I didn't need to just to get enough to fall asleep! Some of her opinions were quite prejudiced and alot of her comments made me want to scream. But I managed to restrain myself and not commit manslaughter in the hospital. She even told me when I was leaving that she was going to miss me so much!
- I love my life. I have the very best family, the very best friends and the very best of everything. I have nothing at all to complain about even with the sickle cell. It could be alot worse!