Wednesday, March 22, 2006


My illness has taught me something about the nature of humanity, love, brotherhood and relationships that I never understood, and probably never would have. So, from that standpoint, there is some truth and good in everything. ~ Lee Atwater

I've been sick for 14 days. 12 of those days were spent in the hospital. 2 different hospitals. Oh, and I had a 2 day stint where I was home but had a relapse. So needless to say my last 2 weeks have totally sucked. But I'm glad that I'm alive. As soon as I got home, I jumped into the shower and got to experience a marvel of all marvels...HOT RUNNING WATER!!!

While I was ill, I had alot of time to think. I thought about my life, my choices, my decisions, my friends and my situation. I actually made some pretty tough decisions, during the more lucid stages of my stay.
  1. I'm going back to Nigeria. It's home and there is nothing wrong with it. There is no future for me here, nothing but a seething vacuum of mediocrity. I can't work, I can't go to school and I barely exist. I need to go back to where I started and rebuild my life over again. Ever since I made that decision, my heart has been lighter and my choices have become more clear cut. I've told most of my dear friends and have even picked a date. July 25.
  2. I've realised who my true friends are and who the fair weather friends are. It isn't until calamity strikes that you actually have a clearer vision of the depth of your friendships. So once again, I've been able to weed out the chaff and keep around me only die-hard true friends.
  3. I'm addicted to my computer. Of everything I missed, I missed the internet with a ferocity that belied even my own comprehension. I knew I was getting better when on Days 9-12, I called my sister and had her read my email to me just to keep me kind of abreast. I couldn't convince her to read all your blogs to me, so I have much catching up to do!
  4. I want to strangle my room-mate. She is a little old lady who when she is well, is probably a sweet thing. But when she is sick and in pain, she is a screaming, whiny, complaining verigo that made me want to reach over the curtain and smack her several times. She complained nonstop 24/7, hated everything and everyone and was so negative that I sometimes pressed my pain button even when I didn't need to just to get enough to fall asleep! Some of her opinions were quite prejudiced and alot of her comments made me want to scream. But I managed to restrain myself and not commit manslaughter in the hospital. She even told me when I was leaving that she was going to miss me so much!
  5. I love my life. I have the very best family, the very best friends and the very best of everything. I have nothing at all to complain about even with the sickle cell. It could be alot worse!


Poetic Justice said...

I LOVE YOU TOO Big Sister. And you do have life and you do have a future. You have me here and I am going to always be here.

anny said...

hang in there!

NML said...

Welcome back my friend! Fabulous post and it's at times like this when you really do learn who your friends are and who really cares. That's a massive decision that you've made but I'm glad you made it. You can be all that you want to be and I know that's a hell of a lot! Welcome back my fabulous friend x

Dami said...

she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! baby ma fara le.

KM said...

I know what you're saying about getting a *lot* of clarity when separated from everything... am glad you're out, though. All the best, Vixen; I hope you can keep blogging from Naija. And I'm thinking you'll be cool no matter where you are: you've got a solid network. Take care. -- KM.